maniac

I don't know what's gotten in to me lately. I don't post for like 4 months and then BAM!!! I have a lot to say.

So I went to this work function Friday night- a wine/ seminar thing with architects. Architects, as a whole, are some of my favorite kinds of people. They can be crazy and egotistical and delightful and funny and just wonderful. They can drive you bananas with their ability to humanize a building and explain it using some of the most *insane* words you've ever heard in your entire life. Regardless, I was there. Enjoying myself.

This thing started at 6:30. Me, expecting some "heavy hors d'oeuvres", didn't eat anything before I arrived. Sadly disappointed in the food selections, I ended up munching on some too-garlicky hummus, celery and carrots. A dinner it was not. I start with one glass of wine- which is a good way to get me comfortable. Naturally, in those types of situations, I would clam up and sit in a corner. I'm solid with my one glass of wine. Sit at the table, and patiently wait for the lecture to start. About 15 minutes after the awards portion of the lecture starts, a new glass of wine magically appears before me. Ugh. Empty stomach + kelly + 2 glasses= done. That's enough for me to start dancing (on top of a piano... not like I've ever done that before or anything.). About 30 minutes after that, another glass of wine magically appears in front of me. Now, without a doubt, I am not good to drive. So I start devising plan B in my head of what I will do in the time it takes for me to sober up.

Coworker's wife gets tired of listening to the wonderful Architect talk, and the three of us leave. Walk across the street to a bar/restaurant, where they continue to imbibe. I, however, start chugging the water and order an app to get something to soak that nonsense in my stomach up. Coworker's wife, however, has lost any sense of boundaries/ appropriate way of speaking. She asks me where I live/ do I have a roommate. I answer... "no" in my -ahhhhhh i love it- tone of voice. She responds (a little too quickly) with the phrase: "You're going to be single for the rest of your life."

Here are some thoughts regarding this...

Coworker's wife, you did not ruin my night. You gave me something to blog about... and I'm going to think long and hard about whether or not to punch you in the mouth next time I see you.