How to give your dog a mohawk.

This is a very important and life-altering tutorial. Seriously. You never know when you'll need to shave your dog's hair. So, we'll get right to it.

1. Procure for yourself a dog. Ed here has been around for 12 years (Happy Birthday three days ago, Ed!), so I didn't have to do much looking. Also make sure the dog is a willing participant. Ed and I sat down a few times and discussed what was going to happen, so he was prepared for it.

2. Procure for yourself a set of hair clippers. Any will do, although, you might want to get a separate pair just for the dog. Dad once mistakenly used Ed's clippers, and he was not a happy camper knowing a dog got his hairs did with the same set.

3. Go outside. You never ever ever want to do this inside. Ever.

4. Start shaving. It's best to think of a plan. For example, if you want a mohawk, you need to decide on the width of this before starting. A lightning bolt, although more difficult, could produce equally as life changing results as the mohawk.

5. Be patient. This can take a couple hours, especially if you have a dog that likes to wander off so he can sit in the sunshine.

6. Make sure that you're telling your dog how handsome he is. They need positive reinforcement.

7. Do a look-over to make sure you haven't missed any spots. This is good to do with a friend present, as they may have a different angle (which they will, if they're taller. Duh.).

8. Give the dog a bath and brush him off. It helps with the shedding.

9. Let that dog go outside and show off his new 'do.

10. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

maniac

I don't know what's gotten in to me lately. I don't post for like 4 months and then BAM!!! I have a lot to say.

So I went to this work function Friday night- a wine/ seminar thing with architects. Architects, as a whole, are some of my favorite kinds of people. They can be crazy and egotistical and delightful and funny and just wonderful. They can drive you bananas with their ability to humanize a building and explain it using some of the most *insane* words you've ever heard in your entire life. Regardless, I was there. Enjoying myself.

This thing started at 6:30. Me, expecting some "heavy hors d'oeuvres", didn't eat anything before I arrived. Sadly disappointed in the food selections, I ended up munching on some too-garlicky hummus, celery and carrots. A dinner it was not. I start with one glass of wine- which is a good way to get me comfortable. Naturally, in those types of situations, I would clam up and sit in a corner. I'm solid with my one glass of wine. Sit at the table, and patiently wait for the lecture to start. About 15 minutes after the awards portion of the lecture starts, a new glass of wine magically appears before me. Ugh. Empty stomach + kelly + 2 glasses= done. That's enough for me to start dancing (on top of a piano... not like I've ever done that before or anything.). About 30 minutes after that, another glass of wine magically appears in front of me. Now, without a doubt, I am not good to drive. So I start devising plan B in my head of what I will do in the time it takes for me to sober up.

Coworker's wife gets tired of listening to the wonderful Architect talk, and the three of us leave. Walk across the street to a bar/restaurant, where they continue to imbibe. I, however, start chugging the water and order an app to get something to soak that nonsense in my stomach up. Coworker's wife, however, has lost any sense of boundaries/ appropriate way of speaking. She asks me where I live/ do I have a roommate. I answer... "no" in my -ahhhhhh i love it- tone of voice. She responds (a little too quickly) with the phrase: "You're going to be single for the rest of your life."

Here are some thoughts regarding this...

Coworker's wife, you did not ruin my night. You gave me something to blog about... and I'm going to think long and hard about whether or not to punch you in the mouth next time I see you.

Summertime.

With my newfound sense of employment and influx once a week with some cashmoney, it's hard not to dream about what I will do with all these ASTRONOMICAL amounts of money. (That was a joke. Whatever.) I've come to the understanding that I.LOVE.SUMMER. I love riding my bike with my hair down. I love wearing summer shoes. I love finding cover-ups for when I go to the beach. I actually love the fact that sand is in my car, in my carpet, in the bottom of my bags, and in my kitchen.

I'd ride this Electra around everywhere I go.

I'd change out the ribbon to make it feel not-so-Pollyanna. But I'd wear it.

*hats in the belfry

Yes, please. Cover up for a summer evening. I don't remember where it's from- anyone?

These cropped pants from Gap.

These stripey shoes from Target.

And a handmade bag like this. (This one is from Thimble.)

Curtain Call

Bff Megan asked me to post how to make curtains. It's actually quite simple, seeing as how I stay with a super-easy pattern that gets made up as I sew. Really, nothing too special or fancy to these.

The funny thing about this set of curtains is how quickly they were made. The Baker's were coming in town, and I had about 3 days to decide on some fabric and get them done. I tend to freak out a bit when people are coming over- last minute cleaning and a bit of redecorating. Then I sit on the couch, hoping to look calm, cool & collected. I wonder if my guests ever pick up on that?

So off I went to the fabric store, and I found this- problem was, it was the end of the bolt, with about 2 yards. I figured there wasn't going to be enough fabric for all three windows in the tiny kitchen, but it was worth a shot. Indeed, not even close to being enough fabric, so I had to choose another complimentary one.

I wanted to get something that I could use on the other two windows, but wasn't as bold as the fabric with the flowers. Ta-daaa, my favorite color with some teeny polka dots. And I bought some pom pom trim to sew along the bottom edge. This time, I think I got 3 yards, so I wouldn't have to mess around with not having enough fabric.

Step one. I never really thought this was an important step, but it really is. It makes a HUGE difference in the finished product. IRON IT. The whole piece of fabric. After you cut your fabric to size (I eyeball, but measuring would probably help also.), iron the edges of where you're going to sew. I sew the left and right hems first- probably an 1/8" hem or so.

I promise I don't sew in the dark. This photo just looks like I do. But in order to get a straight hem, you first have to iron the fabric in a straight line. Then I follow the footplate to get the hem parallel to the edge of the fabric.

I generally sew the bottom first, but with the edge trim being sewn on the bottom, I wanted to work on the top ruffle first. So I made sure to have about 5" of fabric folded at the top, giving me about 2-2.5" of ruffle at the top. I sew the bottom hem of the pocket first.

Also, good tip here- fold the bottom edges in a bit when you sew. This will decrease the chance of showing the back fold when you hang the fabric. Trust me. It works.

After the bottom hem, I sew the top hem of the pocket. I give about 1.5-2" for the pocket, but this all depends on the curtain rod you are using.

I loooved the pom pom thing- a bit of whimsy. But if they had it, I would get trim with a larger ribbon. This ribbon was super-narrow, and hard for me to navigate the needle to sew in a straight line.

And ta-daaa! My little baby curtain in my little baby kitchen.

Tips:

It will probably help to measure. I rarely do that, and I just live with the result. :)

I also didn't pin anything- I figured the ironing would do the trick. Which it did, but if you're not super-comfortable with sewing, you might as well go ahead and pin where you want to sew. It sure doesn't hurt.

Also, plan ahead and don't sew curtains one day before the in-laws get in town. You won't have to feign relaxation and can actually make some fun things for their visit.

PUNCH.

So living at the beach is wonderful. My house is three blocks off the water, which means that when it's warm, Ed and I can take walks on the boardwalk. It also means that people are a bit more relaxed- neighbors sit on their porches and hang out. I may be the youngest person on the block by a good 30 years, but I like it. I got cupcakes from NeighborErika two weeks ago. A few weeks ago, St. Patrick's Day was celebrated by an entire day of partying and parade-ing outside my house. This is my neighbor Jimmy, who apparently gets really into the holiday.

Living near the beach does have it's drawbacks, though. I have mini-breakdown freakouts when I realize I haven't been taking care of my "temple" as I should have. Aka, my body is not beach-ready. (I may also have freak outs regarding my bathing suit selections, but that's beside the point.) Also adding to the mess of it all, I get bored when working out. Unless someone is there telling me (yelling) what to do, I probably will just sit down and think about Unicorns.

Luckily, one of my friends managed to procure a heavy bag for his garage gym. Woooooo! I have discovered, when punching and kicking this bag, whoever is holding the bag gets to ask any question they feel like asking, and I'll tell them the honest answer. The punching bag, for me, is like truth serum. (So if you ever need an honest opinion or answer from me.... to the punching bag!) And while I love punching and kicking, two times a week is still just not enough for my otherwise sedentary body.

Sedentary body, meet BODY BY KEN. No kidding, I signed up for this. Here are my thoughts regarding said activity:
1. I might die.
2. This guy is slightly... um... yeah...
3. Not only is he slightly... um... yeah..., but so are his other trainers.
4. No hurt, No mini-skirt!.... really?
5. I can't wait to share stories of this guy.
6. GRAPHIC DESIGN GENIUS!!!
7. It doesn't start for another few weeks. So I will enjoy my sleeping in and my body minus Ken.

And that is all. Enjoy.

*k