Okay.

Last week, I heard a sermon that talked about encouragement. Strange that the pastors for the past two weeks have known that I need to hear more about that subject. One of the points was that God will give you encouragement in unexpected places. So even though this may be trite or silly, I still find that it gives my soul a little bit of hope.



the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Psalm 147:11

I win. Fortune Cookies say I win.

I have one good news.

Quick update- Still haven't found a job, but am in the hunt. Stalking jobs like prey on the animal channel. This I learned from Ed.

First good news, I'm getting a sister!! No, Mom and Dad aren't pregnant. That would be super-weird. Adam popped the question, and him and Meghan are getting married! So excited about that, and also really excited about visiting Canada. Never been up there, so I've actually been emailing Meghan my questions about Canada. Such as... do they have libraries? Does everybody play hockey and/ or curl? Is it always snowy in Canada? Anyway. Really excited to be getting a Mrs. Meghan Warnerbaker. (Wonder if she'll combine names?)



Second good news. We got the For the Love of Meghan bracelets in! These will be used as fundraisers for her- minimum of $5 donation (shipping not included), maximum donation of a bazillion dollars!! Email me (comment if you don't already know my email address) if you're interested- you can obvi buy more than one, too!!



Anyway, super excited to be sharing those two good things.

*k

sunny day in winter

I love the way these make me feel. It makes me feel like winter's not the worst thing ever, like bad news won't stay bad, and even though gray sounds sad, it's actually quite beautiful.














*k

And the punches keep rolling in.

It snowed on Thursday. Unexpectedly for me... I don't watch much news, and the only weather news I see is what comes up on my iGoogle homepage. So here it came... about 8 inches of it. Ed loved the stuff. And I love watching Ed play. It brings joy to my life.





So Friday morning rolled around, and of course, the streets were not plowed. And then my power turned off, leaving my stranded. I parked in the garage that night (wouldn't you, if it was snowing?)... but I got locked in. Once I figured out how to manually release the door, I went in to work. And promptly got laid off. !??!!?!?! I went home to regroup, and have no plan. But I feel better about the steps I've taken. With only 4 months of employment under my belt, this situation is all to familiar. But I'm reminded of a verse I just posted:

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.



and some friends sent some encouragement. I <3 them.

*k

ps. know of anyone looking to hire in the dfw area? anyone?! bueller? anyone?

Heartfelt thanks

I can't wait to get pictures from Meghan of her walls FILLED with hearts. Thanks to everyone who participated/ is planning on participating. As you might have guessed, one way I am deal is through doing. (Another is through writing, which is weird. I have a hard time expressing myself verbally, but am totally willing to share with you through written words.)This may end up being a long post, as there are two things I want to cover. But hang in there.

First, my feelings toward my brother and Meghan. The more that I talk with people about this, the more they are impressed with how Adam and Meghan are handling this situation. Obviously, I know Adam better, so I'll start with him. My heart bursts (sometimes, it feels literal) with pride about how strong and courageous he is. I've grown up knowing that when you love someone, you love them when they're sick and when they're well. Dad and Mom taught us kids this. But Adam- wow. He met Meghan when she was well, but know he loves her more deeply despite the fact that she's sick. I've said it before, but I want to meet and marry a man that is a perfect combination of my Father and Brother. Adam has shown grace and poise through this all, and is still able to have joy in his life. Meghan, I got really excited about you when you guys were still in Korea. Adam wouldn't talk about you for the first couple of months that you were dating (probably because he knew I would freak out... in a good way, and he didn't want to be bombarded by a million questions). I love to see Adam happy and settled, with a woman that challenges him and is fun and joyful, strong and courageous. I get excited when just the two of us get to hang out and have jokes that Adam gets creeped out by. (I hope we can hug and murmur into each other's ears for years to come.)

Secondly, as I mentioned before, one way I handle is to do things. So one of the first projects I decided upon came naturally to me. I've been working on making flowers for the past couple of months, so this was another great way to make some crafty goodness. So here they are. A bouquet of some kind of silky and satiny flowers. I can post about the steps to flower-making later, but here they are.




















Leaving you with some truth-

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3.

*k

The Heart Project

So. There are times in my life when words get stuck in my head and can't get out until I use them. Sometimes, they'll be rolling around for DAYS... I've wanted to say that crafting, for me, is somewhat cathartic. But then I looked up "cathartic" and found out that it in actuality meant... "an agent for purging the bowels. a laxative." so... crafting, for me, is not cathartic. soothing, but not cathartic. But I digress.

The Heart Project.

If you know Meghan, love Meghan, don't know Meghan, but are praying for her, thinking of her... whatever, think about participating in this with us? It's super-easy, will require about... 15 minutes of your time (if you're a slow cutter and writer), and will mean the world to her.

Step One: Find fun paper- wallpaper scraps, scrapbooking paper, computer paper, whatever.

Step Two: Cut a heart out of said paper.

Step Three: Write your name on said paper.

Step Four: Send to Meghan so she may hang on her walls and have tangible, everyday reminders of how much people are fighting with her and supporting her.

Step Four point One: If you don't have Meghan's address, leave a comment with your email address and I will send it to you.






All images were found on Marthastewart.com, of course.

<3

it hurts.

Really, there is only one way to describe the way you feel when you get a second cancer diagnosis. The simple way would be to say that it hurts. The more in depth way would be to say that it feels like your insides are being ripped apart slowly, and by someone who has a dull set of scissors. I guess that's a little graphic, but I think it helps paint the picture.

And I think one of the hardest parts about this all is that you wish there was something you could do to help. Like I said before, you wish you could take part of the pain away and handle it yourself. You walk around every day, with a lump the size of a mountain stuck in your throat, threatening to burst at any moment in time. So you almost hope that people don't ask how you're doing- so you won't have to lie- and so the dam won't break. But at the same time, if they don't ask how you're doing, you get so angry at them for being heartless and insensitive. It's hard to describe your feelings, and hard to be able to decipher what feeling belongs in which compartment. You might be sad, which literally makes you a couple inches shorter, due to the fact that you're carrying around the weight of the world. You might be hopeful, which leaves your eyes glistening. You might be thankful, but still have a lump in your throat.

Anyway. When I get really stressed out about things, I like to have a to-do list. I like to have an action plan. So here's what I am doing, and what you can do as well.

-Sending flowers is an easy and a nice way for Meghan to know you're supporting her. Since I'm a crafter and I feel that crafting is a soothing way for me to handle and deal, I'm sewing flowers. I'll post pics of that, but only after Meghan gets them in the mail. She likes to cheat sometimes and peek at presents.

-It is always meaningful when someone makes something special that shows or says how you feel. In this instance, I think it would be lovely and wonderful- even if you don't know her personally, to write your name on a heart and send it to her in the mail. How great would it be for her to hang hearts all over her room with names of people that love her?

-Snail mail always rules. It's personal and requires effort and means more. And it's a simple way to brighten anyone's day... even if it's just a postcard.

-Financial help is pretty obvious and definitely useful. Meghan has at least two hours of driving everyday for radiation in the winter across extremely windy farm late in a boxy v-6. which might not mean much to you but to her and her family that means gas chomper. The average for Canadian gas in Ontario right now is $3.64 per gallon (.96 per liter.) that adds up quickly in car that gets under 20 miles to the gallon.

-Email. But not just one to say you're sad. Its nice and true, but it is much more beneficial if your intention is to talk (about anything and everything) rather than to tell her what you are feeling.

-For right now we need to keep phone calls limited. While it's quick, it can also be exhausting for the Baker's. They need rest, so please be respectful of them as a family. If you want to send something get in touch with Me (via the comments with your email address) and I'll send you her address or email.

-Lastly, don't run away. This may be hard on you, and your way of dealing with it might be to forget about it, to isolate yourself from others, or to pretend like it's not there. Don't do this. Meghan needs your love and support, and you need a network of people as well. Don't run away from your friends. Lean on them and let them help you through it. Be vulnerable with the people in your life...

-Pray without ceasing. Pray for comfort, for peace, for strength, for patience, for hope, for miracles.

Please use this link for monetary donations, we appreciate all of you and your support in whatever form you choose;

<3