Done!!

It's always good to listen to my Mother's advice. She's so smart. Her idea to fixing this blasted chair problem was to "go wander around Home Depot." So I did. I had some ideas in mind of how to fix the chair-bottom-falling-out-and-making-people-fall problem I had last weekend. One friend suggested some type of tubing regularly used in screen doors, another (new blogfriend- woot woot!) suggested against wooden dowels, and doubling up on the cording, and Dad suggested superglue. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised he didn't suggest duct tape. Dad fixes a lot of things with duct tape, namely windshield wipers.

Anyway, I wandered around the HD for a bit, all the while trying to look like I knew what I was looking for. I shy away from talking to store associates, especially when at Home Improvement stores. It generally takes me some name dropping to get them to realize I'm not an idiot girl that's never been in there before. And by name dropping, I mean saying words like "crescent wrench", "double-threaded screw", and a phrase like "well, when I was using my power sander the other day..." or "the jigsaw didn't have quite the cut depth I needed..." Anyway. I found myself in the trusty rope and tie-down aisle, and saw the nylon ropes. Hesitant of the ropes, since I had such issues with them the last three times, I spent some time debating, but finally decided on this big, bad mamma jamma.

I sewed only one at first, to make sure it would work. I played this game before, where I sewed multiple pieces, only to realize my efforts were in vain. Lo and behold, Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!! Like a charm. Only problemo this time? I wasn't getting a good stitch next to the cording. I quit for the night, partially defeated, partially jubilant.

A quick internet search the next day made me realize I was just using the wrong tools. It's amazing how easy something can be when using the right tools!! Duh, I needed to use the Zipper foot. See pictures below, and how that allows me to get right up next to the cord for a good, successful stitch.

I busted three out after I figured the correct technique, and BOOM goes the dynamite. I'm done. Ish. (I need to fix the first attempt, and do some touch-up painting to the pink chair.) This project made me want to punch myself in the face. But I'm done. And it will be so nice once the temp drops below 100, and these crazy beetle-things disappear. I can't wait to use my new/old patio set.

Ed put in some hard work, too. Ok, not really. I just really love taking pictures of him. And you should love looking at pictures of him. :)

*k

Workywork

This is from a project that my company just completed. So good.

The Neverending Project

I started this redo project a few weeks ago (okay, maybe a couple of months is more accurate), and it seems to want to continue for the rest of eternity. Some friends of mine were paring down their crowded backyard, and offered up a patio set. Not one to turn down a project (or free fun things), I accepted the gift(s). One patio table with a glass top, and four fabric-backed chairs.

It seemed easy enough: Repaint said furniture, purchase and sew new fabric backs and seats. The painting was the easy part. I just lightly sanded the surfaces, to make sure the paint would stick. And spray paint and I continued our love affair.

The sewing, however, is another story. I got super-lucky with the fabric. It was on the "remnant/ sale" table in the verrry back of the store, and found this outdoor fabric. Originally something like $26 a yard, I got it for $6 a yard.

I originally purchased cording that would be sewn into the edges of the back and bottom panels, then slid into channels that would be screwed on to the chairs and secured in place. After finishing all my sewing, I went outside to grab one of the channel pieces, and BUSSST. The cording was wayyy too small and immediately slipped out of place. Back to the store for round two.

Round two, with larger cording, was an immediate bust as well. Third time's the charm, right? I sewed in the largest cording Joann's had (1mm, I think?), and reassembled the chairs. VIOLA! I even tested them out. Perfecto!!

Cue the arrival of friends and dudes, who apparently weigh more than I do. (I am certainly not complaining about the fact that I weigh less than dudes.) Also cue the immediate bust of the chairs. AGAIN. But seriously. Look how cute this is? I grabbed the beach umbrella, planted some succulents in the mason jars, and instant party!

I'm at a loss as to how I should fix this?! Does anyone have ideas? I've thought of rubber tubing (the kind that is used for screen doors), or wooden dowels. Suggestions?

I need help.

Omg. Omgomgomg

Yesterday was BY FAR the worst eharmony day ever. EVER. But at the same time that all this was happening, I was able to find the humor in it.

So the day started out with Bossman Hambone being a silly old sillyface. Or, as the Bakers say, a stupid old stupidhead.

Move on to match #1- recent, fast-moving kind of guy. He replied very quickly, and soon requested to "chat". So he sent an eharmony email that asked if I would like to gchat or facebook chat. Immediately after that, he closed the match. Ergo, chatting was instantly not an option for him. Mmmkay.

Match #2. Also a fast-mover. In response to my question "Tell me 5 random things about yourself", he thought it was most important for me to know that he is a) very conscious about his weight and b) that he is slightly OCD and hates getting dirty. Perfect.
There were two other silly things that happened, but to protect the innocents, I will refrain from mentioning them.

Then early this morning, I received this match:

The most influential person in my life has been:

There are a few. This may sound kinda corny but Bob Ross was one. He inspired me to be an artist. I love painting and I love art in general and I owe most of that to him.

Really. Bob Ross is the most influential person in your life? How in the world could you leave out John Tesh? Or Richard Simmons? Or Sally Jesse Raphael?
Oh wow. And just in case you were wondering, today will be the last day of eharmony for me. I just can't take it anymore. We're breaking up.

On another note, I'm toying with the idea of writing a book detailing my life thus far, which would involve my stories (book on singleness, patience, waiting on God) that lead up to now. I'm looking for titles for said book and taking suggestions. Here are a few that I've thought of/ received so far:

1. Really? Really.
2. Eharmony and other sh*t.
3. This makes my stomach hurt.
4. Keep calm and have a cupcake

Any ideas?

The adventures of Bossman Hambone.

As long as you're familiar with the workings of Outlook and meeting requests, this will make sense.

So I sent out an update to a previous meeting request that people didn't reply to. As the manager of the "Events" calendar at work, I take these infractions very seriously. Punishable by the withholding of schwag.

Bossman Hambone replied to the event invitation with an email that said he couldn't go. (Along with a very detailed writeup as to why he couldn't go. None of which I am interested in.)

I replied, asking him to reply "no" to the calendar invitation.

He replied to the email with "NO" written in all caps.

What a guy.

Update...

Just got this response from EHarmony.

"I also understand that you would like to receive matches who are normal, socially well-adjusted, and attractive. Please note that we currently do not have a specific setting to send you matches who are normal, socially well-adjusted, and attractive."

Well, that just sucks.

eharmony.

So I did it. I joined eharmony. Except I joined it about 2 months ago. So far, it's been pretty disappointing. Two months have resulted in two dates that failed miserably. The first one was okayish. But the guy asked me to meet him and his friends for brunch at his house for the second date. Um... no. The second date guy didn't even pay for my coffee. Not like I can't buy my own coffee, but I refused the second date offer, thinking I'd have to buy my own dinner. No thanks.

I've gotten matched with the likes of this guy:

(just in case you're wondering, I named that file "omg.jpg" on my computer. It's only fitting.)

And this one too:
The one thing I am most passionate about:
Philosophy paintball medieval fantasy programming theology

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
I can be arrogant

The things I can't live without are:
Jesus's grace
paintball
my family
close friends

Some additional information I want you to know:
I recognize the need to have an open mind but I also recognize that even atheists don't have the mental capacity to comprehend and consider everything and they end up putting there faith in someone or something. For instance they may read a book never going to great lengths to find the facts behind the book and then they don't even realize they too have blind faith in something. I just happened upon christian truth, believed, and am told to develop a relationship with Jesus.

I typically spend my leisure time:
surfing the internet sometimes paintball working on paintball guns
 
FAIL.
 
And so this morning, I took things into my own hands. I wrote them a letter. See below:
I have been very disappointed with the matches I've received; they've been outside my radius, and generally a bunch of weirdos. I'd like to either change my settings to ONLY receive local matches (who are preferrably normal, socially well-adjusted, and attractive men), or to discontinue my membership. Please advise if this is possible.