there's sunshine in my heart.

In the summer between my junior and senior years of college (summer of '04), I enrolled in an independent study graphic design class. I had decided that what the world needed was not another poster, or another record cover, or another logo. What the world needed was some new greeting cards. I've loved letters- getting them, writing them... it was one of the few ways I was able to communicate with my Grandma when I was younger. So, noticing that most of the "christian" greeting cards made me want to vomit, I decided to... remodel them a bit. I created a line of greeting cards that excited me and made me laugh. It's been almost 6 years in the making, but I've finally decided to do something about these cards that have been waiting their turn. Well, dear friends... here they are. I bought a bottle of champagne tonight after posting the cards, hoping to drink it when I sold my first card. (I expected these cards to take a couple of weeks to sell.) And God surprised me. Delighted me. And Loved me. I drank the champagne tonight. :)

I sure do love his love (go ahead... click it! it works!!)




*k

tender heart

To my sheer and utter mortification, I came to the realization on sunday evening that I may, in fact, be tender hearted. Let me back up a bit to explain.

I grew up playing sports. Soccer, t-ball (on the boys team, of course), softball, lacrosse (in the later years), etc etc etc. Although I did own barbies, I recall playing with my brother's GI Joes much more frequently and the barbies were merely used to torment my cousin Ben. (sorry, benjo.) I was the test dummy on all of Adam and his little boy scout friends' push car things (and have scars to prove it). I got jealous of my brother when he got a BB gun from Grandpa George and all I got was a music box and a copy of charlotte's web from Grandma Dorothy. Get the picture?

It started changing around... college, perhaps? I wore my first pair of real high-heels when in Spain (my Junior year, I believe). I remember the shoes. Which is the first thing to note. I remember the shoes. I fell in love with shoes. I took a watercolor class and painted roses. I started, in earnest, watching decorating shows- beginning with TLC. And now I have fabric flowers adorning my headboard, lace runners on most of my furniture, over 60 pairs of shoes in the closet (I don't want to talk about it.), and a basket full of make-up. These things do not make me tender-hearted. They may make me a bit more... feminine, according to worldly standards. But they did mark a change in my patterns and behaviors.

Fast forward to Sunday evening. I'm babysitting an infant, and after just fed her, changed a nasty diaper and rocked her to sleep, I started back on my newest book, So Long Insecurity (Beth Moore's newest). A rather poignant passage states, "... the more tenderhearted we are, the more vulnerable to insecurity we'll likely be. Some people take things harder and deeper to heart than others. It's not a matter of weakness. It's a matter of personal sensitivity... I feel everything. My joys are huge, and so are my sorrows. If I'm mad, I'm really mad, and if I'm despondent, I wonder how on earth I'll go on. Then I get up, pour some coffee, and move on to the next emotion and forget how depressed I was an hour ago." She goes on to say, "Life is really hard. No one can escape it. No one is unscathed by it. But we are not just flailing aimlessly in a universal black hole. There is purpose. There is order- because there is God."

Maybe it's just this time in my life, but I feel like I've never felt before. My heart explodes with happiness, with sadness, with grief, and with love. And all of those can happen within a day. But I take comfort in the fact that, once again in Beth's words, "He knows it's scary to be us." "Let Him tell you you're worth wanting, loving, even liking, pursuing, fighting for, and yes, beloved, keeping."

*k

smile

I found this picture tonight, and it made me smile. It looks like joy and it makes me believe in love.

Randolph.

There are so many reasons why I love my dad. Here are some of them.

1. He is quite a studmuffin. I mean, look at this.



2. He is one of the most caring and compassionate men I know.
3. He makes me laugh. When he tells jokes and when he's just sitting around not trying to make me laugh.
4. He treats Mom like a queen, and never fails to compliment her and tell her how great she is.
5. He is quick to listen.
6. He provides for his family.
7. He's why I've waited so long to get married. I want to find a guy like my dad, and they just don't make them quite like they used to.
8. He (and Mom) raised an incredible man in Adam.
9. He is the best dancer I've ever seen. Seriously, you should ask him to show you some of his moves.
10. He taught me how to ride a bike.
11. He lets me tweeze his eyebrows on occasion.
12. He taught me how to drive a car, and we've both lived to tell about it.
13. He taught me how to fall asleep anywhere.
14. He taught me the value of being wise with your money.
15. He instilled in me the value of planting flowers at your home.
16. He led our family to be a family that loves the Lord.
17. He always brought presents back from trips he went on. Even if the presents were the shampoo bottles from the hotel rooms, he let us know he was thinking of us.
18. He tells me that he's either a) my biggest fan, or b) I'm his biggest daughter.
19. He makes me smile.
20. He encourages me.

I could go on for days. Really, I could.

Happy birthday, Big Poppa. I love you.

*k