So. This boy...

So I've been dating J a little over six months now. A record holder, if you will. And it was his birthday this past week, which meant that I had to think of something AMAZING to give him. I mean, this guy is something special. Present must reflect that special-ness of the glitter and sunshine feelings he gives me. Right? RIGHT?

I thought about this present for a few weeks. Brainstormed with myself, essentially. And finally decided that since he moved from GA a year ago, he needs to immerse himself in beach culture. Which essentially meant... he needed a cruiser. I set off to craigslist and found this monster.

Not even a little rough around the edges... this guy needed some work. Luckily for me and my under-preparedness, my parents are in town and offered their help. I began by sanding the white paint down and disassembling the ENTIRE bike. (Tires were removed completely, bike rack taken off and thrown away, old grips were thrown away, pedals were thrown away, and cup holder was tossed.)

Then we got to the fun part... paint. You know me and my love for some spray paint. So, naturally, the bike had to be gold.  Tires, rims, and all accessories had to be black. The only original things left on this bike are the chain and the seat. (Chain to be changed as soon as I figure out how to get the old one off and a new one put on.)

And... well... this beauty emerged!

Annnnd he loves it. 

Awkward moments with me.

I get really uncomfortable when people ask questions like the following:

Sooo what have you been up to lately?
What do you do for fun?
What hobbies do you have?

I mean, they're just really vague questions that people ask when they really have no knowledge of your life whatsoever and are just fishing for information.

So braintrust and I had an informational brainstorming session a few weeks ago, and it finally paid off.

I played golf with some Marketing-y folks yesterday, and... well... read for yourselves.

"soooo kelly. what have you been up to?"

"i've been working on my taxidermy skills."
 "okay, i'll give you another chance. what have you been up to?"

"i've been taking my dog's fur and making pillows."

FINALLY!!!

In more ways than one, this post is a big ol sigh of relief. First, I haven't updated in a looong time, and yet I've had PLENTY of things to post about. I've sewn LOTS of flowers, decorated the churchy (getting ready to redecorate for spring this weekend), made reusable shopping bags, dyed old dresses, spray painted no less than 75 items... and that's probably not an exxageration, helped J redecorate his place, and traveled to just about everywhere, it seems. Sooooo needless to say, it's been a busy time... but really fun time. I've come to a place of such hope and peace and happiness, and my life just feels settled right now. It's pretty fun.

*Disclaimer. The pics aren't that great. Iphones are great, until you want nice pictures to put on a blog. Then they're useful in conveying information, but not in getting a fancypants picture.*

Soooo along with all those projects, J had this tv cabinet. I didn't particularly care for the cabinet, as it was, and... well... it needed to be painted. And sanded. And remade.

We took our happy little selves to home depot for some supplies (screws, nails, magnet closures, quarter round, flat trim, mdf, something to wrap fabric around for the door inserts, new feet- we saved about $20 by using fencepost toppers instead of actual furniture feet- and kilz), and started hacking away. Suprisingly, the supplies cost us somewheres around the $50-60 range, which was WAY more than we were expecting. But I took a few things back that I decided I didn't need, including the kilz (because we bought an entire gallon, and I wasn't convinced we'd need it), we probably still had around $40 invested. And then lo and behold Ace had a free giveaway of a quart of paint... so J and I marched our little selves to the store and picked up two free quarts, color matched to the shade of grey we had already picked out. (And we still have about 1.5 quarts leftover! What else can we paint??!?!?)

Essentially, all the front panels needed to come off- the two interior ones were operable, while the two exterior ones were fixed. This made no sense to me, so I decided to have the interior open, with the two end doors operable. Which also meant I had to finish out the interiors to make it an actual compartment. (It was completely open on the inside.) Lots of cutting, adding quarter round (worst day(s) ever were figuring out how to get the angles correct for that), caulking, sanding, gorilla-glue-ing, screwing (into pressboard, which is no easy task), and general frustration ensued. In all my years of constructing and crafting, I don't think I've ever come across pressboard as hard as this. I broke off two screw heads attempting to get the feet secured. Which, btw, don't use drywall screws for these kinds of jobs. Duh.

Anyway, I think I was more anxious to get this finished than to do everything 100%- there are things that will either get fixed or will fall into the "nobody else besides us will know" category. But... THE GRAND REVEAL!! I'm real excited to have this complete.

But now we need to change up some other things to go with the new tv cabinet. :)

Also, two things to note: I won the office pool for March Madness, by selecting the winner on team colors and mascots. FINALLY, my methods paid off! And also, Sic 'em LadyBears.

I get it...

Nobody really cares as much about your kids as much as you do. I get that. But really. This is Ed. Everyone should love him just as much as I do. He just wants to learn how to Dougie. And really, you can't blame him.

this is basically it.

I read this article this morning, and I got confused... I didn't remember writing anything for Relevant Magazine, but it's basically my story? (Except for the part about marrying a guy named Marc.)

When my husband and I got married, I was ticked at how many people threw marriage books at us. We accumulated at least 15 books within a matter of one month—and it made me feel like I didn’t matter before as a single person. Not once had anyone given me a book to help me navigate life as a single girl. Sure, I bought I Kissed Dating Goodbye for myself because it was popular, but the concept only confirmed my worst fear: I would be single forever.

My whole life I tried hard not to believe the lie that only married people matter. Whenever I would visit a Christian bookstore, I noticed there were many shelves dedicated to marriage books. But for the single person, the books took up only one shelf.

This seems unbalanced to me. Married people are not the only ones deserving of life guidance; singles are making quality decisions that determine the direction of their life, and not just one decision, but many: Who are you going to befriend? What school will you go to? How are you going to pay for it? What job are you going to pursue? Where will you live and travel? What church will you invest into?

"Who are you going to marry?" is neither the only nor the most important question on that list.


Clichés That Make Us Cringe

If you’re single, chances are you’ve heard the clichés. You’ve heard so many you could probably fill a book with them. In my opinion, these two are the absolute worst when it comes to relationships: “Until you learn to be content in your singleness, God won’t bring you a spouse,” and, “Until you stop looking for your spouse, there he/she will be.”

But let’s be honest: Clichés don’t work. I spent most of my 20s as a single woman, and if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that love stories differ. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to romance.

I don’t know about you, but I hated being single. I hated advertising my relationship status on Facebook. At the very least, I thought I deserved a boyfriend. Didn’t following God, starting my own ministry and helping churches across America at least deserve a first date with someone?

I remember many dateless Valentine's Days on which I prayed: "Come on, God. Help me write my own love story!"

I read dating books to find my spouse sooner. I tried online dating. I followed the rules, advice and clichés from older women who had been there, done that. Nothing I did worked. However—and I hope you hear me on this—I’m so glad I waited because God needed to school me in a few areas. I had a lot to learn through my singleness. It wasn’t just a time of waiting around for the phone to ring.

Waiting Actively

I used my single years to figure out where I wanted to go and what made me tick. I pursued my passions. I finished my education. I managed my finances. I paid off all my debts. (Except for my student loans—those are going to take a while.)

Changes occurred internally as well. I discovered my worth as a singular person. I chose to no longer believe the lie that I was too fat to be in a relationship. I learned to let go of the media’s portrayal of the perfect man would take my breath away and fill me with purpose, and God taught me how to find my significance in Him.

I’ll be honest: It was a struggle. As I entered my late 20s, it had been eight years since my last long-term relationship. But instead of waiting around passively, I learned to pursue life. I traveled, spoke, wrote books, created and had fun. I saw life from the viewpoint of contentment. For the first time, that rosy hue wasn’t because I was drinking someone else’s Kool Aid. I clearly saw my single life as worth something. I loved the thought that God was positioning me—whether single or married—to bring glory to Him through my life, ministry and work.

Serving God Solo or Together

During those single years of discovering my passion for life, I still thought how great it would be to bring God glory together with another. And perhaps, when God brought Marc into my life, it was because my "singleness-to-glory ratio" was now fully maximized; for me, it was time to partner with someone and learn how to bring God glory together.

I know firsthand clichés don’t work in the moment—they never do. If you’re single, the last thing you want to hear is someone telling you how to find an easy answer. Clichés are never enough and they rarely comfort or encourage. What I appreciated most from people when I was single was giving me their time. I needed someone to talk to and listen to me and my complaints. I needed to know that all my dating crises were going to be worth it someday, and that I hadn’t completely messed up so badly that God couldn’t bring someone into my life, or fulfill me on my own. I needed to be reminded that I could even take advantage of all God had for me during any time.

Even if you feel like you don’t matter—or you wish you were having marriage books thrown at you instead of tired clichés—you’re worth it. Maybe God does write love stories—but the bigger, greater story is open to everyone, no matter what stage of life they are in.



Renee Johnson Fisher is a spirited speaker and writer to twentysomethings. Her second book, Not Another Dating Book (Harvest House), releases February 2012, and you can find Renee blogging at DevotionalDiva.com.

Sunshine & Glitter

He makes bad days better.

I can't even handle it.

Ed and I get in the same fight every morning, and it looks like the above. Basically, he wants his doggy bone, and I want him to bark for it. I see nothing wrong with this.

Thankfulness

This past week, I celebrated my 29th bday. I am filled with so much hope and peace for this next year. I can't explain when it happened, or even how it happened, but I have finally come to a place of peace in my life. With so much upheaval over the past couple of years, it is so wonderful to just sit and rest in God's presence without the cloud of doom hanging over my head. I've had to make some pretty tough decisions, all in an effort to arrive at the place I am today.

I am so, so thankful for where I am at now. I live in a location that is good for my heart. The sand and the ocean are equally calming and inspiring, my friends are encouraging and challenging, my job is secure and uses my talents, my church is a place of rest. I know the rough years were there to change me into the woman God wants me to be, but it sure wasn't easy to deal with. I don't understand it, but I'm trying to learn from it.

I got a tattoo back in July, and am constantly reminded (at times surprised) by it. (side note... it was the most ridiculous kind of elective pain to go through. I don't understand how/ why people would get more than one tat. ever.) It signifies, to me, hope and the promises of God to his people. The reference, Deuteronomy 31:8, is so applicable to me: "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

To quote Hope Floats: "... when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... "