Body by Ken

I know I promised this weeks ago, but I was too busy getting RIPPED and in shape for swimsuit season. You'll forgive, right? Right.

So. The first morning of Body by Ken, I woke myself up at 5:10am. Ed woke up also, so I had to take him outside to get his business worked out. For those of you who know me, you know that I am not the friendliest in the mornings. In fact, I'm just generally dissatisfied with the idea of not being asleep. I arrive in plenty of time for the start of my new life. Right.

Basically, let's just imagine a yoga-type studio without air conditioner. That's where I spent a lot of time sweating from my face. I don't typically sweat in the facial area, but for these 4 weeks, I did. We spent some time outdoors, running around a Farm Fresh parking lot, running to the Post Office and back, or running to the beach. I got yelled at plenty of times to "catch Brandi! C'mon, Kelly! Catch Brandi!" Brandi is at least 7 inches taller than myself, all legs... and a sprinter. So I felt like punching Ken in the face a few times. He also yelled at me once because I wasn't punching hard enough/ correctly enough. He came up behind me and started yelling in my ear. I almost peed myself, but decided against it.

Anyway, after two weeks, Ken started letting another trainer in on the deal- David. David is an ex-marine, and he made us do exercises that made my ears sweat. I was driving to work this morning and saw David running. Totally thought about turning the car around to ask if he would train me solo. David talked much less than Ken, so with him, the entire hour was spent working out and getting buff. Ken likes to use a lot more motivational words and high-fives.

You might be wondering a bit of the actual schedule of the week. Mondays were legs, Tuesdays were arms, and Thursdays were boxing. And once a week, there would be a weigh-in. So I'm proud to say that after 12 workout sessions and changing my diet up a bit, I LOST POUNDAGE! 1.1, to be exact. Ugh. Not worth it. Ok, it really was worth it. I just don't want to admit it.

Now, I can't exactly give you away all of Ken's secrets. Let's just say it involves a LOT of crunching, pushing up, and running. Also imagine free weights, stretchy bands, and little orange cones.

But for your viewing pleasure, pictures of Ken and Temarcus. I don't know who Temarcus is, but I like saying his name.

When I was a kid...

I don't remember a TON from my childhood, but it is decidedly a whole heck of a lot more than my brother remembers. He will tell people that his memory has been erased from before the age of 12. I, however, think that is not the case. I'm pretty sure he's got at least these three stored up in his steel trap:

1. An "incident" involving me, his hamster, a bucket, a dead hamster, and tears. He maintains this was an actual occurrence, rather than something he made up. I do not remember this. And I maintain my innocence.

2. Pretty sure he may also remember a certain time when a neighbor kid and the two of us were playing basketball. Things got heated, I got mad, kid may or may not have ended up getting thrown into the bushes. Again, the details of this incident are a bit shady.

3. We used to go to the minor league baseball games in Albuquerque frequently. I remember getting a pack of sixlets from 7-11, and heading on our way to the games. We usually sat in the outfield on the grass, but there were a couple special times when we got real seats. This particular time, we went with Adam's Boyscout troop and sat in seats. Sometime after a few innings, a message posted on the scoreboard of... "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADAM WARNER!" or something of the like. He was stoked out of his mind. Really excited.

All that to say... I remember well the Dukes. They were my #1 baseball team. They were the minor league team for the Dodgers when we attended, and superb players were marked by their blue shoes. The ragtags still had red. Anyway, Mom and Dad are in New Mexico these days. And they sent me this t-shirt. It made my day.

also, this.

A year later.

I've been thinking about this post for a while now. I know it's important to process through things and work through them and such, but it's been such a trying year that sometimes I just needed a break. From thinking, from feeling, from myself. I've been at the beach now for about 9 months, and have just started being me again. Weird to say, but I feel it. Things that are so close to my heart got pushed out and pushed away so far from myself, as I was trying to keep from falling apart. I never really understood it when people retreat, or when they say they "fell apart". I get it. I don't feel like I fell apart, necessarily, so much as my life did.

Getting laid off is hard stuff. I never understood how much of one's identity is wrapped up in being employed. I mean, whether or not you like your job is not the question. It's a matter of being able to provide for yourself that is so closely wrapped up in who you are. Especially for myself, being a 28 year old single woman. I have been taught to be strong, independent, hardworking, self-sufficient. I may take those to extremes at times, being hard-headed and unwilling to accept gifts from people. But when you lose the ability to be strong, independent, hardworking and self-sufficient, there's not a whole lot else to go on. People that have never lost jobs, in the back of their minds, think that it's that person's own fault for getting laid off. I know this from experience. It's easy to feel victimized, to feel inadequate, to feel small.

Even harder than getting laid off was learning that Meghan was sick again. When Adam told me, it felt like getting the wind knocked out of me. That's not just an expression. That's a feeling. I remember one night in particular where I woke up because my literal heart was in such pain. I wondered if I was having a heart attack. It took me a solid 30 minutes to calm down, breathe, and pray. I wasn't sure what was happening, but if the Devil came in to my body and was crushing my heart, I wouldn't be surprised. There were so many days where I'd be going about my routine and would just start crying. It blew my mind how many tears could be shed. And how the word "Jesus" was all I could say when praying. He knew what it meant, though.

Even harder still was Meghan passing away. I still have videos that play in my mind of that week. The plane trip, sitting between two strangers and crying. Border crossing and answering the Patrol's questions of why you were going to Canada. The song that played at her funeral- "It is well with my soul." It sure wasn't then. It might be now, but I'm still unsure if I can admit that.

Then, I bailed out of Texas to go to Canada for the summer. Texas was in the process of crushing me under it's weight. I got claustraphobic in the second largest state in the US. Thankfully, I got a job offer while I was up there.

Then the whirlwind started. I drove from Canada to Texas, moved out, Texas to Virginia, moved in- all in about 10 days. It took me about 3 months to unwind just from that and begin to feel settled. And then the work started. There were lots of days where being around my friends made me feel trapped. I'm a different girl than I used to be. I need to be alone- to sit, think, read, run... who knows why that change took place, but it did.

My first week back in Virginia was the first time I had communion in about 7 or so months. And it terrified me. Communion is this beautiful picture of you celebrating what Jesus did for you. How could I do that when I didn't trust His love anymore? I mean, all these things were "taken" from me and I just didn't get it. It didn't make sense. I've done what I'm supposed to do my entire life. Why, then, was I "rewarded" with this year? Coming to the understanding that faith isn't a system of actions and rewards, of checks and balances, of yes' and no's, was something that took a long time to come to grips with. It's not something that we, as humans, are taught by the world. We're used to actions and consequences. I've come to a deeper understanding of Christ's love after this.

I don't understand why Meghan was taken, or why I lost my job, or why last year went the way that it did. I never will. I can't rationalize it. But I do know that Christ is still Love. I know he doesn't cause these things to happen. I also know that when you feel like you can't go on any more, He will somehow give you the strength to wake up another day.

beach bag bum

So I made that purse! Bag! Whatever! And I've taken it to the beach with me every time I've gone. It's so great. It will hold books, snacks, sunscreen & a towel... and juice boxes! Sorry for the poor picture quality- I took it with my phone in haste. But ta-daaa!

How to give your dog a mohawk.

This is a very important and life-altering tutorial. Seriously. You never know when you'll need to shave your dog's hair. So, we'll get right to it.

1. Procure for yourself a dog. Ed here has been around for 12 years (Happy Birthday three days ago, Ed!), so I didn't have to do much looking. Also make sure the dog is a willing participant. Ed and I sat down a few times and discussed what was going to happen, so he was prepared for it.

2. Procure for yourself a set of hair clippers. Any will do, although, you might want to get a separate pair just for the dog. Dad once mistakenly used Ed's clippers, and he was not a happy camper knowing a dog got his hairs did with the same set.

3. Go outside. You never ever ever want to do this inside. Ever.

4. Start shaving. It's best to think of a plan. For example, if you want a mohawk, you need to decide on the width of this before starting. A lightning bolt, although more difficult, could produce equally as life changing results as the mohawk.

5. Be patient. This can take a couple hours, especially if you have a dog that likes to wander off so he can sit in the sunshine.

6. Make sure that you're telling your dog how handsome he is. They need positive reinforcement.

7. Do a look-over to make sure you haven't missed any spots. This is good to do with a friend present, as they may have a different angle (which they will, if they're taller. Duh.).

8. Give the dog a bath and brush him off. It helps with the shedding.

9. Let that dog go outside and show off his new 'do.

10. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

maniac

I don't know what's gotten in to me lately. I don't post for like 4 months and then BAM!!! I have a lot to say.

So I went to this work function Friday night- a wine/ seminar thing with architects. Architects, as a whole, are some of my favorite kinds of people. They can be crazy and egotistical and delightful and funny and just wonderful. They can drive you bananas with their ability to humanize a building and explain it using some of the most *insane* words you've ever heard in your entire life. Regardless, I was there. Enjoying myself.

This thing started at 6:30. Me, expecting some "heavy hors d'oeuvres", didn't eat anything before I arrived. Sadly disappointed in the food selections, I ended up munching on some too-garlicky hummus, celery and carrots. A dinner it was not. I start with one glass of wine- which is a good way to get me comfortable. Naturally, in those types of situations, I would clam up and sit in a corner. I'm solid with my one glass of wine. Sit at the table, and patiently wait for the lecture to start. About 15 minutes after the awards portion of the lecture starts, a new glass of wine magically appears before me. Ugh. Empty stomach + kelly + 2 glasses= done. That's enough for me to start dancing (on top of a piano... not like I've ever done that before or anything.). About 30 minutes after that, another glass of wine magically appears in front of me. Now, without a doubt, I am not good to drive. So I start devising plan B in my head of what I will do in the time it takes for me to sober up.

Coworker's wife gets tired of listening to the wonderful Architect talk, and the three of us leave. Walk across the street to a bar/restaurant, where they continue to imbibe. I, however, start chugging the water and order an app to get something to soak that nonsense in my stomach up. Coworker's wife, however, has lost any sense of boundaries/ appropriate way of speaking. She asks me where I live/ do I have a roommate. I answer... "no" in my -ahhhhhh i love it- tone of voice. She responds (a little too quickly) with the phrase: "You're going to be single for the rest of your life."

Here are some thoughts regarding this...

Coworker's wife, you did not ruin my night. You gave me something to blog about... and I'm going to think long and hard about whether or not to punch you in the mouth next time I see you.

Summertime.

With my newfound sense of employment and influx once a week with some cashmoney, it's hard not to dream about what I will do with all these ASTRONOMICAL amounts of money. (That was a joke. Whatever.) I've come to the understanding that I.LOVE.SUMMER. I love riding my bike with my hair down. I love wearing summer shoes. I love finding cover-ups for when I go to the beach. I actually love the fact that sand is in my car, in my carpet, in the bottom of my bags, and in my kitchen.

I'd ride this Electra around everywhere I go.

I'd change out the ribbon to make it feel not-so-Pollyanna. But I'd wear it.

*hats in the belfry

Yes, please. Cover up for a summer evening. I don't remember where it's from- anyone?

These cropped pants from Gap.

These stripey shoes from Target.

And a handmade bag like this. (This one is from Thimble.)

Curtain Call

Bff Megan asked me to post how to make curtains. It's actually quite simple, seeing as how I stay with a super-easy pattern that gets made up as I sew. Really, nothing too special or fancy to these.

The funny thing about this set of curtains is how quickly they were made. The Baker's were coming in town, and I had about 3 days to decide on some fabric and get them done. I tend to freak out a bit when people are coming over- last minute cleaning and a bit of redecorating. Then I sit on the couch, hoping to look calm, cool & collected. I wonder if my guests ever pick up on that?

So off I went to the fabric store, and I found this- problem was, it was the end of the bolt, with about 2 yards. I figured there wasn't going to be enough fabric for all three windows in the tiny kitchen, but it was worth a shot. Indeed, not even close to being enough fabric, so I had to choose another complimentary one.

I wanted to get something that I could use on the other two windows, but wasn't as bold as the fabric with the flowers. Ta-daaa, my favorite color with some teeny polka dots. And I bought some pom pom trim to sew along the bottom edge. This time, I think I got 3 yards, so I wouldn't have to mess around with not having enough fabric.

Step one. I never really thought this was an important step, but it really is. It makes a HUGE difference in the finished product. IRON IT. The whole piece of fabric. After you cut your fabric to size (I eyeball, but measuring would probably help also.), iron the edges of where you're going to sew. I sew the left and right hems first- probably an 1/8" hem or so.

I promise I don't sew in the dark. This photo just looks like I do. But in order to get a straight hem, you first have to iron the fabric in a straight line. Then I follow the footplate to get the hem parallel to the edge of the fabric.

I generally sew the bottom first, but with the edge trim being sewn on the bottom, I wanted to work on the top ruffle first. So I made sure to have about 5" of fabric folded at the top, giving me about 2-2.5" of ruffle at the top. I sew the bottom hem of the pocket first.

Also, good tip here- fold the bottom edges in a bit when you sew. This will decrease the chance of showing the back fold when you hang the fabric. Trust me. It works.

After the bottom hem, I sew the top hem of the pocket. I give about 1.5-2" for the pocket, but this all depends on the curtain rod you are using.

I loooved the pom pom thing- a bit of whimsy. But if they had it, I would get trim with a larger ribbon. This ribbon was super-narrow, and hard for me to navigate the needle to sew in a straight line.

And ta-daaa! My little baby curtain in my little baby kitchen.

Tips:

It will probably help to measure. I rarely do that, and I just live with the result. :)

I also didn't pin anything- I figured the ironing would do the trick. Which it did, but if you're not super-comfortable with sewing, you might as well go ahead and pin where you want to sew. It sure doesn't hurt.

Also, plan ahead and don't sew curtains one day before the in-laws get in town. You won't have to feign relaxation and can actually make some fun things for their visit.