PunchInTheFACEDesign

Sunshine & Glitter

2012-01-12T07:49:00.000-06:00

He makes bad days better.

I can't even handle it.

2011-11-24T19:51:00.001-06:00

Ed and I get in the same fight every morning, and it looks like the above. Basically, he wants his doggy bone, and I want him to bark for it. I see nothing wrong with this.

Thankfulness

2011-11-21T12:40:00.001-06:00

This past week, I celebrated my 29th bday. I am filled with so much hope and peace for this next year. I can't explain when it happened, or even how it happened, but I have finally come to a place of peace in my life. With so much upheaval over the past couple of years, it is so wonderful to just sit and rest in God's presence without the cloud of doom hanging over my head. I've had to make some pretty tough decisions, all in an effort to arrive at the place I am today.

I am so, so thankful for where I am at now. I live in a location that is good for my heart. The sand and the ocean are equally calming and inspiring, my friends are encouraging and challenging, my job is secure and uses my talents, my church is a place of rest. I know the rough years were there to change me into the woman God wants me to be, but it sure wasn't easy to deal with. I don't understand it, but I'm trying to learn from it.

I got a tattoo back in July, and am constantly reminded (at times surprised) by it. (side note... it was the most ridiculous kind of elective pain to go through. I don't understand how/ why people would get more than one tat. ever.) It signifies, to me, hope and the promises of God to his people. The reference, Deuteronomy 31:8, is so applicable to me: "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

To quote Hope Floats: "... when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... "

More of the tender, mushy heart.

2011-09-06T20:22:00.000-05:00

To my dismay, the tenderheartedness is still in existence. I cried at a wedding this weekend. If you put me at a good friend's wedding, in the midst of a military homecoming, or around Ed and his cuteness, I will cry.

I attended a good friend's wedding this past weekend, and it was so lovely. She turned 30 this year, and spent her birthday solo in wine country- just because she felt like it. In many ways, she's an inspiration to me. She lives a happy, fulfilled life... still one with hurts and pain and grief and even despair, at times. And yet, after all her years of singleness, she remained joyful. Joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Actually, let me quote a couple verses from Romans 12: ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

She embodies all of these charges. She delights herself in the Lord, and she was rewarded with the best gift. Her love and gratitude for the man God provided for her is and was so evident on her wedding day. I've never seen such a happy, excited, hopeful bride than her. She literally bounced along the entire night, so blissful, so... explosive. Explosive in the idea that maybe your heart is so big and full and happy that you might just... burst. And yet, it wasn't one of those loves that makes you painfully aware of your own self and makes you want to vomit; it delights to envelop you into their love, their hope, their joy.

With Jesus as the entire center of their world and being(s), it seems appalling to even think they had anything to do with their love story. Their love story was crafted, managed, and molded by Jesus and Jesus alone.

It was such a delight to share in their joy.

Oh- they had a balloon animal-maker at the cocktail hour.

And I got to create the centerpieces.

HURRICANE MADNESSSSSS

2011-08-30T20:05:00.002-05:00

So I figured with Hurricane Irene making her way up the East Coast, I'd do what any other Norfolkian would do and stay home to challenge the storm. That is, until I got a text Friday morning from my brother offering his house up as a safe haven. Knowing full well of his ulterior motives of wanting to see Ed, I quickly jumped on the chance to go visit- the offer does not come along every day. I rushed home after putting plastic tarps over my computer keyboard to stave off the UTTER DESTRUCTION that would inevitably ensue, packed up the puppy and headed North(ish). Northwest. Whatever. The usual 3.5 hour drive took about 6 hours. No problem. I've got my dog (who looked like this most of the trip), and a book on tape (Decision Points by George W. Bush, which is super-interesting so far, btw).

Brotherbear lives adjacent to the Marine Barracks in the Capitol Hill area of DC, and a distant memory of mine includes going to the Marine Barracks on Friday nights to watch the dapper marines march. I used to get escorted in on the arm of a delightful young soldier; now I awkwardly walk by the (still delightful) young soldiers, but feel much more intimidated by their presence (say awkwardly, slightly funny things, and then walk quickly away). (One day, I hope to woo my husband with my awkwardness. Jury's still out on that one.) All that to say- parking was nonexistent. And in this case, you MOST DEFINITELY do not want to park on the other side of the bridge. No, for reals. Not even a joke this time. I parked the car on the other side, got out for 15 seconds, got back in, and proceeded to drive around for another 15 minutes looking for a place to stop my car.

I woke up the next morning, and completed something that has been on my to-do list for the past 15 or so years (that's three times in two sentences I've used the number "15". I recognize that.); I went running on the Mall. No, not in the mall. On the mall. The national grassy-lawned mall. Mission accomplished with a 3.5ish mile run. I celebrated by having a cupcake. (See below.) And because I'm so cool (nerd.), I named the picture file "hurricupcakes". I'm so stinkin clever I can't even stand myself sometimes.

And then the hurrycane was nonexistent after that. Rather, I shouldn't say nonexistent- I should say... uneventful. This is Sunday morning on the streets:

EXCEPT FOR THIS UTTER DEVASTATION!!! I arrived back home to this sad, sad scene. This patio set is certainly causing some grief in my life. Ideas of what to replace the glass with, or how to go about replacing it? AHHHHH.

That's all.

Done!!

2011-07-28T09:19:00.000-05:00

It's always good to listen to my Mother's advice. She's so smart. Her idea to fixing this blasted chair problem was to "go wander around Home Depot." So I did. I had some ideas in mind of how to fix the chair-bottom-falling-out-and-making-people-fall problem I had last weekend. One friend suggested some type of tubing regularly used in screen doors, another (new blogfriend- woot woot!) suggested against wooden dowels, and doubling up on the cording, and Dad suggested superglue. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised he didn't suggest duct tape. Dad fixes a lot of things with duct tape, namely windshield wipers.

Anyway, I wandered around the HD for a bit, all the while trying to look like I knew what I was looking for. I shy away from talking to store associates, especially when at Home Improvement stores. It generally takes me some name dropping to get them to realize I'm not an idiot girl that's never been in there before. And by name dropping, I mean saying words like "crescent wrench", "double-threaded screw", and a phrase like "well, when I was using my power sander the other day..." or "the jigsaw didn't have quite the cut depth I needed..." Anyway. I found myself in the trusty rope and tie-down aisle, and saw the nylon ropes. Hesitant of the ropes, since I had such issues with them the last three times, I spent some time debating, but finally decided on this big, bad mamma jamma.

I sewed only one at first, to make sure it would work. I played this game before, where I sewed multiple pieces, only to realize my efforts were in vain. Lo and behold, Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!! Like a charm. Only problemo this time? I wasn't getting a good stitch next to the cording. I quit for the night, partially defeated, partially jubilant.

A quick internet search the next day made me realize I was just using the wrong tools. It's amazing how easy something can be when using the right tools!! Duh, I needed to use the Zipper foot. See pictures below, and how that allows me to get right up next to the cord for a good, successful stitch.

I busted three out after I figured the correct technique, and BOOM goes the dynamite. I'm done. Ish. (I need to fix the first attempt, and do some touch-up painting to the pink chair.) This project made me want to punch myself in the face. But I'm done. And it will be so nice once the temp drops below 100, and these crazy beetle-things disappear. I can't wait to use my new/old patio set.

Ed put in some hard work, too. Ok, not really. I just really love taking pictures of him. And you should love looking at pictures of him. :)

Workywork

2011-07-21T09:42:00.001-05:00

This is from a project that my company just completed. So good.

The Neverending Project

2011-07-18T10:32:00.000-05:00

I started this redo project a few weeks ago (okay, maybe a couple of months is more accurate), and it seems to want to continue for the rest of eternity. Some friends of mine were paring down their crowded backyard, and offered up a patio set. Not one to turn down a project (or free fun things), I accepted the gift(s). One patio table with a glass top, and four fabric-backed chairs.

It seemed easy enough: Repaint said furniture, purchase and sew new fabric backs and seats. The painting was the easy part. I just lightly sanded the surfaces, to make sure the paint would stick. And spray paint and I continued our love affair.

The sewing, however, is another story. I got super-lucky with the fabric. It was on the "remnant/ sale" table in the verrry back of the store, and found this outdoor fabric. Originally something like $26 a yard, I got it for $6 a yard.

I originally purchased cording that would be sewn into the edges of the back and bottom panels, then slid into channels that would be screwed on to the chairs and secured in place. After finishing all my sewing, I went outside to grab one of the channel pieces, and BUSSST. The cording was wayyy too small and immediately slipped out of place. Back to the store for round two.

Round two, with larger cording, was an immediate bust as well. Third time's the charm, right? I sewed in the largest cording Joann's had (1mm, I think?), and reassembled the chairs. VIOLA! I even tested them out. Perfecto!!

Cue the arrival of friends and dudes, who apparently weigh more than I do. (I am certainly not complaining about the fact that I weigh less than dudes.) Also cue the immediate bust of the chairs. AGAIN. But seriously. Look how cute this is? I grabbed the beach umbrella, planted some succulents in the mason jars, and instant party!

I'm at a loss as to how I should fix this?! Does anyone have ideas? I've thought of rubber tubing (the kind that is used for screen doors), or wooden dowels. Suggestions?

I need help.

Omg. Omgomgomg

2011-07-14T08:43:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was BY FAR the worst eharmony day ever. EVER. But at the same time that all this was happening, I was able to find the humor in it.

So the day started out with Bossman Hambone being a silly old sillyface. Or, as the Bakers say, a stupid old stupidhead.

Move on to match #1- recent, fast-moving kind of guy. He replied very quickly, and soon requested to "chat". So he sent an eharmony email that asked if I would like to gchat or facebook chat. Immediately after that, he closed the match. Ergo, chatting was instantly not an option for him. Mmmkay.

Match #2. Also a fast-mover. In response to my question "Tell me 5 random things about yourself", he thought it was most important for me to know that he is a) very conscious about his weight and b) that he is slightly OCD and hates getting dirty. Perfect.
There were two other silly things that happened, but to protect the innocents, I will refrain from mentioning them.

Then early this morning, I received this match:

The most influential person in my life has been:

There are a few. This may sound kinda corny but Bob Ross was one. He inspired me to be an artist. I love painting and I love art in general and I owe most of that to him.

Really. Bob Ross is the most influential person in your life? How in the world could you leave out John Tesh? Or Richard Simmons? Or Sally Jesse Raphael?
Oh wow. And just in case you were wondering, today will be the last day of eharmony for me. I just can't take it anymore. We're breaking up.

On another note, I'm toying with the idea of writing a book detailing my life thus far, which would involve my stories (book on singleness, patience, waiting on God) that lead up to now. I'm looking for titles for said book and taking suggestions. Here are a few that I've thought of/ received so far:

1. Really? Really.
2. Eharmony and other sh*t.
3. This makes my stomach hurt.
4. Keep calm and have a cupcake

Any ideas?

The adventures of Bossman Hambone.

2011-07-13T09:47:00.001-05:00

As long as you're familiar with the workings of Outlook and meeting requests, this will make sense.

So I sent out an update to a previous meeting request that people didn't reply to. As the manager of the "Events" calendar at work, I take these infractions very seriously. Punishable by the withholding of schwag.

Bossman Hambone replied to the event invitation with an email that said he couldn't go. (Along with a very detailed writeup as to why he couldn't go. None of which I am interested in.)

I replied, asking him to reply "no" to the calendar invitation.

He replied to the email with "NO" written in all caps.

What a guy.

Update...

2011-07-12T10:40:00.002-05:00

Just got this response from EHarmony.

"I also understand that you would like to receive matches who are normal, socially well-adjusted, and attractive. Please note that we currently do not have a specific setting to send you matches who are normal, socially well-adjusted, and attractive."

Well, that just sucks.

eharmony.

2011-07-11T12:09:00.001-05:00

So I did it. I joined eharmony. Except I joined it about 2 months ago. So far, it's been pretty disappointing. Two months have resulted in two dates that failed miserably. The first one was okayish. But the guy asked me to meet him and his friends for brunch at his house for the second date. Um... no. The second date guy didn't even pay for my coffee. Not like I can't buy my own coffee, but I refused the second date offer, thinking I'd have to buy my own dinner. No thanks.

I've gotten matched with the likes of this guy:

(just in case you're wondering, I named that file "omg.jpg" on my computer. It's only fitting.)

And this one too:
The one thing I am most passionate about:
Philosophy paintball medieval fantasy programming theology

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
I can be arrogant

The things I can't live without are:
Jesus's grace
paintball
my family
close friends

Some additional information I want you to know:
I recognize the need to have an open mind but I also recognize that even atheists don't have the mental capacity to comprehend and consider everything and they end up putting there faith in someone or something. For instance they may read a book never going to great lengths to find the facts behind the book and then they don't even realize they too have blind faith in something. I just happened upon christian truth, believed, and am told to develop a relationship with Jesus.

I typically spend my leisure time:
surfing the internet sometimes paintball working on paintball guns

FAIL.

And so this morning, I took things into my own hands. I wrote them a letter. See below:
I have been very disappointed with the matches I've received; they've been outside my radius, and generally a bunch of weirdos. I'd like to either change my settings to ONLY receive local matches (who are preferrably normal, socially well-adjusted, and attractive men), or to discontinue my membership. Please advise if this is possible.

HouseLove

2011-06-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

I moved back to VA just a short 10 months ago. (Seems like a lot less time than that.) When I was looking for a place to live, I had a lot of factors to consider.
1. I did not want a roommate. Ever again. (Except for one that I get to marry.) Therefore, the place had to be cheap enough for me to afford everything solo. Bills, Rent... all of it.
2. It had to be big enough to fit all of my stuff in it. This actually posed to be a challenge, seeing as how I inherited all of my "heirloom" furniture as a 26 year old, and have been schlepping it around since then. I love ALL of it, too. So putting it in a friend's house was a bit out of the question, especially since I didn't think the pieces would survive friend's houses.
3. I wanted a yard for Ed to wander around in. Which ultimately meant, in my heart, I wanted a house. I didn't want to share a wall/ ceiling with a neighbor. Especially one that liked to party with thumpin' thumpin music and/or other things. IfyouknowwhatImean.

Lo and behold, I found this little gem. Sure, it looked like it had been long forgotten and rough around the edges, but I saw something different. Really, all it needed was some Love. (Don't we all?)

A few gallons of paint, lots of hours in sweat, lots of blisters, planting, planning, and frustrations, here's what the beach cottage looks like today. Well, really, it was yesterday. But it pretty much looks the same today as it did yesterday.

Now I have a cute little place to go home to. And a cute little dog to go home to. Most of the improvements were completed with the help of my cute little parents.

Ima go be cute and little now. (weird.)

*k

Obsession.

2011-06-10T08:45:00.000-05:00

My mind/ time has been absolutely monopolized as of late. I really can't get enough. I spend LOTS of time on this website, and it makes me not to look at anything else ever again. You should get an account. And then be my friend. And then we can pin together.

http://pinterest.com/

Body by Ken

2011-05-26T12:47:00.001-05:00

I know I promised this weeks ago, but I was too busy getting RIPPED and in shape for swimsuit season. You'll forgive, right? Right.

So. The first morning of Body by Ken, I woke myself up at 5:10am. Ed woke up also, so I had to take him outside to get his business worked out. For those of you who know me, you know that I am not the friendliest in the mornings. In fact, I'm just generally dissatisfied with the idea of not being asleep. I arrive in plenty of time for the start of my new life. Right.

Basically, let's just imagine a yoga-type studio without air conditioner. That's where I spent a lot of time sweating from my face. I don't typically sweat in the facial area, but for these 4 weeks, I did. We spent some time outdoors, running around a Farm Fresh parking lot, running to the Post Office and back, or running to the beach. I got yelled at plenty of times to "catch Brandi! C'mon, Kelly! Catch Brandi!" Brandi is at least 7 inches taller than myself, all legs... and a sprinter. So I felt like punching Ken in the face a few times. He also yelled at me once because I wasn't punching hard enough/ correctly enough. He came up behind me and started yelling in my ear. I almost peed myself, but decided against it.

Anyway, after two weeks, Ken started letting another trainer in on the deal- David. David is an ex-marine, and he made us do exercises that made my ears sweat. I was driving to work this morning and saw David running. Totally thought about turning the car around to ask if he would train me solo. David talked much less than Ken, so with him, the entire hour was spent working out and getting buff. Ken likes to use a lot more motivational words and high-fives.

You might be wondering a bit of the actual schedule of the week. Mondays were legs, Tuesdays were arms, and Thursdays were boxing. And once a week, there would be a weigh-in. So I'm proud to say that after 12 workout sessions and changing my diet up a bit, I LOST POUNDAGE! 1.1, to be exact. Ugh. Not worth it. Ok, it really was worth it. I just don't want to admit it.

Now, I can't exactly give you away all of Ken's secrets. Let's just say it involves a LOT of crunching, pushing up, and running. Also imagine free weights, stretchy bands, and little orange cones.

But for your viewing pleasure, pictures of Ken and Temarcus. I don't know who Temarcus is, but I like saying his name.

When I was a kid...

2011-05-18T12:35:00.000-05:00

I don't remember a TON from my childhood, but it is decidedly a whole heck of a lot more than my brother remembers. He will tell people that his memory has been erased from before the age of 12. I, however, think that is not the case. I'm pretty sure he's got at least these three stored up in his steel trap:

1. An "incident" involving me, his hamster, a bucket, a dead hamster, and tears. He maintains this was an actual occurrence, rather than something he made up. I do not remember this. And I maintain my innocence.

2. Pretty sure he may also remember a certain time when a neighbor kid and the two of us were playing basketball. Things got heated, I got mad, kid may or may not have ended up getting thrown into the bushes. Again, the details of this incident are a bit shady.

3. We used to go to the minor league baseball games in Albuquerque frequently. I remember getting a pack of sixlets from 7-11, and heading on our way to the games. We usually sat in the outfield on the grass, but there were a couple special times when we got real seats. This particular time, we went with Adam's Boyscout troop and sat in seats. Sometime after a few innings, a message posted on the scoreboard of... "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADAM WARNER!" or something of the like. He was stoked out of his mind. Really excited.

All that to say... I remember well the Dukes. They were my #1 baseball team. They were the minor league team for the Dodgers when we attended, and superb players were marked by their blue shoes. The ragtags still had red. Anyway, Mom and Dad are in New Mexico these days. And they sent me this t-shirt. It made my day.

also, this.

A year later.

2011-05-03T08:28:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about this post for a while now. I know it's important to process through things and work through them and such, but it's been such a trying year that sometimes I just needed a break. From thinking, from feeling, from myself. I've been at the beach now for about 9 months, and have just started being me again. Weird to say, but I feel it. Things that are so close to my heart got pushed out and pushed away so far from myself, as I was trying to keep from falling apart. I never really understood it when people retreat, or when they say they "fell apart". I get it. I don't feel like I fell apart, necessarily, so much as my life did.

Getting laid off is hard stuff. I never understood how much of one's identity is wrapped up in being employed. I mean, whether or not you like your job is not the question. It's a matter of being able to provide for yourself that is so closely wrapped up in who you are. Especially for myself, being a 28 year old single woman. I have been taught to be strong, independent, hardworking, self-sufficient. I may take those to extremes at times, being hard-headed and unwilling to accept gifts from people. But when you lose the ability to be strong, independent, hardworking and self-sufficient, there's not a whole lot else to go on. People that have never lost jobs, in the back of their minds, think that it's that person's own fault for getting laid off. I know this from experience. It's easy to feel victimized, to feel inadequate, to feel small.

Even harder than getting laid off was learning that Meghan was sick again. When Adam told me, it felt like getting the wind knocked out of me. That's not just an expression. That's a feeling. I remember one night in particular where I woke up because my literal heart was in such pain. I wondered if I was having a heart attack. It took me a solid 30 minutes to calm down, breathe, and pray. I wasn't sure what was happening, but if the Devil came in to my body and was crushing my heart, I wouldn't be surprised. There were so many days where I'd be going about my routine and would just start crying. It blew my mind how many tears could be shed. And how the word "Jesus" was all I could say when praying. He knew what it meant, though.

Even harder still was Meghan passing away. I still have videos that play in my mind of that week. The plane trip, sitting between two strangers and crying. Border crossing and answering the Patrol's questions of why you were going to Canada. The song that played at her funeral- "It is well with my soul." It sure wasn't then. It might be now, but I'm still unsure if I can admit that.

Then, I bailed out of Texas to go to Canada for the summer. Texas was in the process of crushing me under it's weight. I got claustraphobic in the second largest state in the US. Thankfully, I got a job offer while I was up there.

Then the whirlwind started. I drove from Canada to Texas, moved out, Texas to Virginia, moved in- all in about 10 days. It took me about 3 months to unwind just from that and begin to feel settled. And then the work started. There were lots of days where being around my friends made me feel trapped. I'm a different girl than I used to be. I need to be alone- to sit, think, read, run... who knows why that change took place, but it did.

My first week back in Virginia was the first time I had communion in about 7 or so months. And it terrified me. Communion is this beautiful picture of you celebrating what Jesus did for you. How could I do that when I didn't trust His love anymore? I mean, all these things were "taken" from me and I just didn't get it. It didn't make sense. I've done what I'm supposed to do my entire life. Why, then, was I "rewarded" with this year? Coming to the understanding that faith isn't a system of actions and rewards, of checks and balances, of yes' and no's, was something that took a long time to come to grips with. It's not something that we, as humans, are taught by the world. We're used to actions and consequences. I've come to a deeper understanding of Christ's love after this.

I don't understand why Meghan was taken, or why I lost my job, or why last year went the way that it did. I never will. I can't rationalize it. But I do know that Christ is still Love. I know he doesn't cause these things to happen. I also know that when you feel like you can't go on any more, He will somehow give you the strength to wake up another day.

beach bag bum

2011-05-02T11:05:00.000-05:00

So I made that purse! Bag! Whatever! And I've taken it to the beach with me every time I've gone. It's so great. It will hold books, snacks, sunscreen & a towel... and juice boxes! Sorry for the poor picture quality- I took it with my phone in haste. But ta-daaa!

How to give your dog a mohawk.

2011-04-26T11:29:00.000-05:00

This is a very important and life-altering tutorial. Seriously. You never know when you'll need to shave your dog's hair. So, we'll get right to it.

1. Procure for yourself a dog. Ed here has been around for 12 years (Happy Birthday three days ago, Ed!), so I didn't have to do much looking. Also make sure the dog is a willing participant. Ed and I sat down a few times and discussed what was going to happen, so he was prepared for it.

2. Procure for yourself a set of hair clippers. Any will do, although, you might want to get a separate pair just for the dog. Dad once mistakenly used Ed's clippers, and he was not a happy camper knowing a dog got his hairs did with the same set.

3. Go outside. You never ever ever want to do this inside. Ever.

4. Start shaving. It's best to think of a plan. For example, if you want a mohawk, you need to decide on the width of this before starting. A lightning bolt, although more difficult, could produce equally as life changing results as the mohawk.

5. Be patient. This can take a couple hours, especially if you have a dog that likes to wander off so he can sit in the sunshine.

6. Make sure that you're telling your dog how handsome he is. They need positive reinforcement.

7. Do a look-over to make sure you haven't missed any spots. This is good to do with a friend present, as they may have a different angle (which they will, if they're taller. Duh.).

8. Give the dog a bath and brush him off. It helps with the shedding.

9. Let that dog go outside and show off his new 'do.

10. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

maniac

2011-04-20T14:03:00.001-05:00

I don't know what's gotten in to me lately. I don't post for like 4 months and then BAM!!! I have a lot to say.

So I went to this work function Friday night- a wine/ seminar thing with architects. Architects, as a whole, are some of my favorite kinds of people. They can be crazy and egotistical and delightful and funny and just wonderful. They can drive you bananas with their ability to humanize a building and explain it using some of the most *insane* words you've ever heard in your entire life. Regardless, I was there. Enjoying myself.

This thing started at 6:30. Me, expecting some "heavy hors d'oeuvres", didn't eat anything before I arrived. Sadly disappointed in the food selections, I ended up munching on some too-garlicky hummus, celery and carrots. A dinner it was not. I start with one glass of wine- which is a good way to get me comfortable. Naturally, in those types of situations, I would clam up and sit in a corner. I'm solid with my one glass of wine. Sit at the table, and patiently wait for the lecture to start. About 15 minutes after the awards portion of the lecture starts, a new glass of wine magically appears before me. Ugh. Empty stomach + kelly + 2 glasses= done. That's enough for me to start dancing (on top of a piano... not like I've ever done that before or anything.). About 30 minutes after that, another glass of wine magically appears in front of me. Now, without a doubt, I am not good to drive. So I start devising plan B in my head of what I will do in the time it takes for me to sober up.

Coworker's wife gets tired of listening to the wonderful Architect talk, and the three of us leave. Walk across the street to a bar/restaurant, where they continue to imbibe. I, however, start chugging the water and order an app to get something to soak that nonsense in my stomach up. Coworker's wife, however, has lost any sense of boundaries/ appropriate way of speaking. She asks me where I live/ do I have a roommate. I answer... "no" in my -ahhhhhh i love it- tone of voice. She responds (a little too quickly) with the phrase: "You're going to be single for the rest of your life."

Here are some thoughts regarding this...

Coworker's wife, you did not ruin my night. You gave me something to blog about... and I'm going to think long and hard about whether or not to punch you in the mouth next time I see you.

Summertime.

2011-04-19T10:28:00.000-05:00

With my newfound sense of employment and influx once a week with some cashmoney, it's hard not to dream about what I will do with all these ASTRONOMICAL amounts of money. (That was a joke. Whatever.) I've come to the understanding that I.LOVE.SUMMER. I love riding my bike with my hair down. I love wearing summer shoes. I love finding cover-ups for when I go to the beach. I actually love the fact that sand is in my car, in my carpet, in the bottom of my bags, and in my kitchen.

I'd ride this Electra around everywhere I go.

I'd change out the ribbon to make it feel not-so-Pollyanna. But I'd wear it.

*hats in the belfry

Yes, please. Cover up for a summer evening. I don't remember where it's from- anyone?

These cropped pants from Gap.

These stripey shoes from Target.

And a handmade bag like this. (This one is from Thimble.)

Curtain Call

2011-04-11T08:35:00.000-05:00

Bff Megan asked me to post how to make curtains. It's actually quite simple, seeing as how I stay with a super-easy pattern that gets made up as I sew. Really, nothing too special or fancy to these.

The funny thing about this set of curtains is how quickly they were made. The Baker's were coming in town, and I had about 3 days to decide on some fabric and get them done. I tend to freak out a bit when people are coming over- last minute cleaning and a bit of redecorating. Then I sit on the couch, hoping to look calm, cool & collected. I wonder if my guests ever pick up on that?

So off I went to the fabric store, and I found this- problem was, it was the end of the bolt, with about 2 yards. I figured there wasn't going to be enough fabric for all three windows in the tiny kitchen, but it was worth a shot. Indeed, not even close to being enough fabric, so I had to choose another complimentary one.

I wanted to get something that I could use on the other two windows, but wasn't as bold as the fabric with the flowers. Ta-daaa, my favorite color with some teeny polka dots. And I bought some pom pom trim to sew along the bottom edge. This time, I think I got 3 yards, so I wouldn't have to mess around with not having enough fabric.

Step one. I never really thought this was an important step, but it really is. It makes a HUGE difference in the finished product. IRON IT. The whole piece of fabric. After you cut your fabric to size (I eyeball, but measuring would probably help also.), iron the edges of where you're going to sew. I sew the left and right hems first- probably an 1/8" hem or so.

I promise I don't sew in the dark. This photo just looks like I do. But in order to get a straight hem, you first have to iron the fabric in a straight line. Then I follow the footplate to get the hem parallel to the edge of the fabric.

I generally sew the bottom first, but with the edge trim being sewn on the bottom, I wanted to work on the top ruffle first. So I made sure to have about 5" of fabric folded at the top, giving me about 2-2.5" of ruffle at the top. I sew the bottom hem of the pocket first.

Also, good tip here- fold the bottom edges in a bit when you sew. This will decrease the chance of showing the back fold when you hang the fabric. Trust me. It works.

After the bottom hem, I sew the top hem of the pocket. I give about 1.5-2" for the pocket, but this all depends on the curtain rod you are using.

I loooved the pom pom thing- a bit of whimsy. But if they had it, I would get trim with a larger ribbon. This ribbon was super-narrow, and hard for me to navigate the needle to sew in a straight line.

And ta-daaa! My little baby curtain in my little baby kitchen.

Tips:

It will probably help to measure. I rarely do that, and I just live with the result. :)

I also didn't pin anything- I figured the ironing would do the trick. Which it did, but if you're not super-comfortable with sewing, you might as well go ahead and pin where you want to sew. It sure doesn't hurt.

Also, plan ahead and don't sew curtains one day before the in-laws get in town. You won't have to feign relaxation and can actually make some fun things for their visit.

PUNCH.

2011-04-01T08:11:00.000-05:00

So living at the beach is wonderful. My house is three blocks off the water, which means that when it's warm, Ed and I can take walks on the boardwalk. It also means that people are a bit more relaxed- neighbors sit on their porches and hang out. I may be the youngest person on the block by a good 30 years, but I like it. I got cupcakes from NeighborErika two weeks ago. A few weeks ago, St. Patrick's Day was celebrated by an entire day of partying and parade-ing outside my house. This is my neighbor Jimmy, who apparently gets really into the holiday.

Living near the beach does have it's drawbacks, though. I have mini-breakdown freakouts when I realize I haven't been taking care of my "temple" as I should have. Aka, my body is not beach-ready. (I may also have freak outs regarding my bathing suit selections, but that's beside the point.) Also adding to the mess of it all, I get bored when working out. Unless someone is there telling me (yelling) what to do, I probably will just sit down and think about Unicorns.

Luckily, one of my friends managed to procure a heavy bag for his garage gym. Woooooo! I have discovered, when punching and kicking this bag, whoever is holding the bag gets to ask any question they feel like asking, and I'll tell them the honest answer. The punching bag, for me, is like truth serum. (So if you ever need an honest opinion or answer from me.... to the punching bag!) And while I love punching and kicking, two times a week is still just not enough for my otherwise sedentary body.

Sedentary body, meet BODY BY KEN. No kidding, I signed up for this. Here are my thoughts regarding said activity:
1. I might die.
2. This guy is slightly... um... yeah...
3. Not only is he slightly... um... yeah..., but so are his other trainers.
4. No hurt, No mini-skirt!.... really?
5. I can't wait to share stories of this guy.
6. GRAPHIC DESIGN GENIUS!!!
7. It doesn't start for another few weeks. So I will enjoy my sleeping in and my body minus Ken.

And that is all. Enjoy.

*k

Renewed Vision

2010-11-23T15:55:00.000-06:00

I love Christmas. Mostly because I get to make Christmas-y things. Crafting, Graphics... I just love the whole shebang. (ESPECIALLY the lights. Christmas lights are my favorite thing in the entire world.) I got to create these designs at work, which is fantastic. I didn't think of the design... only copied them and added on a bit.

I'm really excited about this year. It feels like a new beginning. I just had a birthday, which made me so glad to look forward to things. I mean, I get to package up all the things that were less than amazing about last year and never think about them again, right? I'm 28. 28 year olds get to make their own decisions about how they live their lives. I mean, I'm practically an adult. And therefore, I decide that nothing bad will happen this year. At least, that's what I think when I'm feeling powerful. But then I come back to reality and remember that I.AM.NOT.IN.CONTROL. We (as a family) just got some more bad news. Which, to me, is a punch in the face realization that the world keeps moving. Life is still Life.

I'm also a bit sad about the passing of time. Last Christmas was the last time I got to see Meghan healthy and with a full head of hair. I used to write her emails and letters... mostly asking her dumb questions about Canada. About whether or not every kid learns how to curl in school... which, apparently, they do. I've been wanting to write her letters again or see her post something on FB... something like... "hearts n junk" on Adam's page.

I know I'll see her again. But there's still achiness and hurtyness (it's a word; stop judging me) when I think about her and miss her. I don't think that will go away. But as I said earlier, Life is still Life. It keeps moving whether you want it to or not. We pick up the pieces, and carry on as best we can.

Sometimes, we'll get to smile.

long time coming

2010-10-26T11:02:00.002-05:00

It's been a really long time since I last wrote. Mostly because it terrifies me. I became content to really just stop being introspective about Meghan's death. I became content to let the healing happen. Tomorrow will mark 6 months since she passed away. Two months since I moved to Virginia Beach and started my new job. I can't even begin to describe the amount of heartache and stress my family has been through over the past year. But we're still here. We're still fighting through the days. We still cry. A lot more than I anticipated, actually. I almost thought that I would be fixed after a few months. Almost like my wound had closed up, the stitches were taken out... but the scar is still there.
I'm changed... a much different girl than I was a year ago. My heart is different. I still appreciate design and beauty... (like these... they're my favorite)

But it's different now. It means less than it did before. Mostly because I cherish life. And love. It's waiting.

when you can, dance.

2010-07-01T21:10:00.001-05:00

determination.

2010-06-29T09:46:00.004-05:00

It's hard to believe that it's been nine weeks since Meghan died. I can still see her mannerisms and hear some of her words. I can still picture her on her wedding day. I can still see her arriving at the RV this past Christmas and how jealous I was of her matching luggage. Seriously. Everything that she owned was so stinkin awesome. It scares me to know that it will become a distant memory one day, and I will forget. That's inevitable. I hate it.

It's hard, too, to believe that it's been five months since I was laid off. It's been a while since I last wrote. Mostly because I didn't know what to say. I don't know how to explain to you what we're all feeling. What I'm feeling, since I can really only speak for myself.

I hate that I was laid off. Yeah, because I don't get a paycheck anymore and that stinks. Yeah, because I don't have the monotony of a job every day to return to and get lost in. But mostly because there's so much emotion involved in looking for a new job that it frustrates me to not know exactly which emotion belongs where. I can't say... "I'm feeling sad because of ______."

There are so many highs and lows, even within a period of one day. It seems as if my emotions are amplified, so that something as simple as the USA scoring a goal at the World Cup will make me run around the house. And a phone call from a prospective employer will make me (again) run around the house. And missing a phone call from a prospective employer will upset me for an entire day.

There are things, however, that keep me moving ahead and help me step outside of my own bubble. I get to volunteer every other week at a soup kitchen. Which means I scoop food out of large pans onto plates. Really, this is nothing noble. The noble thing is the men that I meet there. Yes, most of them have been in jail before. Yes, most of them have been on drugs for years. But they are changed men. They are products of grace. They encourage me and remind me of things that I so often forget. One of which is to take life one day at a time. These guys, some of which are ex-cons, all of which are homeless, are reminding me to take life one day at a time. And that God is faithful. I find hope just being around them.

Adam and I are working to get "For the Love of Meghan" established as a non-profit entity. We want others to be able to benefit from her life and love and legacy in a tangible way. There was an article in the Toronto Star yesterday, which garnered TONS of support. Adam's had two radio interviews between last night and this morning. It's just incredible to see where this thing is going. Obviously, we wish that it isn't a "thing." We would most love to have her back. But maybe our purpose now is to change other people's lives and to encourage them through our pain?

So we move forward. We aren't allowed to stop. That's out of the question. We must learn to heal and learn to grieve and learn to love differently... and learn to never stay stagnant in our lives.

We pray for good news. We pray for encouragement. We pray for hope. We pray for love.

A prayer...

2010-05-28T10:43:00.002-05:00

I was reading Beth Moore's book, So Long, Insecurity, this morning and came across this prayer she had written- just a portion of it, actually.

"Lord, come and treat my heart and soul where they have been shattered by loss. No one on earth can esteem the loss of something precious the way You can. You know the pain. You know the unbearable emptiness that can come with loss. You recognize my attempt to fill the void with things that never suffice. You know how my feelings frighten me and how the enemy of my soul would have me believe that I will never be okay. Make a liar out of him, Lord. Do not let him win. Do not let loss win. Be my gain, Lord. Flood my life with purpose and compassion. Be my strength in weakness.

Please do not let me confuse healing with betrayal. Help me to see any place in my life where I'm hanging on to my grief or anger in an attempt to hang on to what I've lost. Grant me the gift of healthy grief that does not fight the pain or the process of healing. Lord, please help me to see where I have suffered a substantial loss that I've never regarded. Where I lost innocence, grant me integrity. Where I lost a relationship, grant me true intimacy. Where I lost a home, grant me an internal, unshakable sense of belonging. Where I've helped someone responsible for my loss, grant me the ability to forgive. Don't stop until You've made a miracle of me.

Lord, help me to learn how to hang on tight to You when my life is rocked by dramatic change. Empower me to trust You and not to panic or fight for control. Help me to stop confusing a change in my circumstances with a change in my security status. You are my security, O God. You are the one sure thing. When everything around me shakes, You are unshakable. Nothing has the propensity to reveal false gods to me like a sudden change in my circumstances. Help me to see them and surrender them instantaneously. Use change to provoke what needs changing in me, Lord, and to increase my appreciation of the only One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

This past 12 months of my life has been marked with dramatic change, unspeakable pain, loss, upheaval, and little rest. I cling to the hope, however, that there will be sunshine in my heart once again. And not just for a moment or two during a day of clouds. The sunshine will be as regular and unencumbered as the sun during a Texas summer.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

*k

Lessons Learned

2010-05-18T11:46:00.006-05:00

I can't put a word to what I'm feeling. I feel too much, too often. And not enough. So without the real ability to name what and how, I feel weird.

Sadness, at times, threatens to engulf me. And somehow, sometimes, I can push it away.

Example #1. Last Saturday. I went over to a friend's house to pick up a tank top I had left there. (Let's not be thinking this is scandalous, okay? I had another tank top underneath.) I walked up to the backyard where he and two of his friends were, and he- almost immediately- asked if I was I had just gotten bad news. Sadness is in the way I walk, in the way I talk, and it shows in my eyes. That day, I knew not to hug anyone for too long, for fear of my eyes turning into faucets. Fast forward to a few hours later. I return to said house for a party. Well, rewind a sec. I knew about said party, and made sure that some of my girl friends were going- whenever I go some place, I must have my "safe" people to go with. People that know, that are kind and comforting, and people that know what it means to ask or not ask. Okay, fast forward again. This time, I put on my party face. I forgot about everything I was thinking, and just spent the time hanging out. Just like "before". Sometimes, I feel like it's a glimpse of normal. Like maybe my wound isn't gaping open, and instead is a scar. Back to reality after I leave the party. But for those couple of hours, I can be a real person again... one that isn't hurting or worrying or sad or totally uncomfortable with the idea that someone might start asking too many questions.

I echo what Adam wrote today on Meghan's blog... it's hard to know when it's okay to smile. Or when it's okay to cry. Or what is appropriate.

I get angry a lot these days. Mostly at people and their reactions to what is happening. I get mad that they don't know, and mad if they do know and have dumb responses. So here is some advice to those that are unfamiliar with what to do for a person going through the grieving process.

Lesson #1. Never ever ever ever tell someone who is grieving what you think would be good for them. It's not for you to decide. ie- what you should be doing in order to "get over" it and/ or "move on." Little else makes me want to punch said person in the face.

Lesson #2. Their grieving process has nothing to do with you. It's not about you. This person is doing all they can to make it through the day, much less having to deal with you and your suggestions and/or emotions. Don't even attempt to put your emotions onto them.

Lesson #3. It's a nice sentiment to tell the person that you're there for them, if they ever want to talk. Chances are, they'll talk to you when they're ready... so don't pressure them into talking immediately.

Lesson #4. As soon as the person informs you of the situation, it is generally not advisable to ask the person what happened. As in... how did they die? Not good. You'll get details eventually, and your morbid curiosity is not helpful.

Lesson #5. Short and sweet is usually the best option when responding to the news. Good example: "Man, I am so sad for you. I'm praying for you." Bad example: "I am sooooo sorry. He/She was such a good person. You look just like him/her. I bet you're really sad. Are you sad? I mean... he/she was so young. You must be heartbroken." Grieving persons don't need you to give them words to express themselves. Your seeming empathetic words are not helping at this specific moment in time.

Lesson #6. Give the person time. Give them space. But also don't stop inviting them. You could say... "Hey, I'm not sure if you'll be up to it, but tonight, I'm going to be watching a movie and drinking copious amounts of wine. If you're interested, you've got a spot on my couch."

Lesson #7. Sometimes, the person just wants to have "regular" conversations. It's okay to just talk about things you used to talk about.

I wish I knew how and what to feel. Or think. Or that I was even able to differentiate between emotions and could source them. But it seems as if- at least right now- I just have general emotion toward general everything.

One day, one step at a time, it will get less painful. It might turn into a dull ache, rather than a sharp pain... but until then, one foot in front of the other.

*k

I miss everything about you

2010-05-07T10:44:00.005-05:00

I wrote this on the plane back from Detroit to Dallas. I recognize that it's written more novel-style than journal-style... a bit detached. But it's the only way I could write it. It's long, too.

Meghan passed away last Tuesday, the 27th. Three months almost exactly after being re-diagnosed. Suck. I am on the airplane headed back to Dallas after being in Michigan for 1.5 weeks. We spent a lot of time in Canada- some up at the cottage with people. How terrible for Adam and Marg & Bill. He lost the wife of his youth, they their only daughter. I don't know how they can get out of bed in the mornings, but they have managed each day to get up and press on. Their courage and strength is inspiring.

She died on Tuesday. I got a phone call from Mom a little before 10 am, which I thought was strange. I was sitting in the census training which I had assumed was the Lord's provision for me. (Funny that every part time job I try to get somehow doesn't work out when I'm unemployed.) I didn't answer, seeing that I was in training. She called me a second time, immediately after the first. My first thought was... "shit. shit, shit, shit." I knew before I answered the phone. I practically ran out of the dingy old church fellowship hall into another room and mom told me. I started shaking, was in complete shock & remember thinking that my mom was making it up. There was no way she could be gone. I had just learned how to pray for- and believe in- miracles. And certainly God was going to answer that prayer. I wanted Him to show His power. To show His glory in a way that would completely change everyone's lives. He wanted to show Himself in another way, though. His power extends beyond our own.

After I hung up the phone with Mom, I immediately called Megan (my best friend in Houston). I couldn't choke out the words I knew to be true, but didn't believe. It took me three attempts before Megan could figure out what I was saying. After that, I texted a couple of my really close friends, went back to get my purse, and quit the census job. I am still astounded at the kindness of some strangers. A woman I had just met that morning gave me her card and as I was leaving- I mumbled out... "my sister in law just passed away." She told me to call her if I needed anything. I needed a lot, but nothing that she could provide.

I only remember part of the drive home- it wasn't a long drive... just a couple of blocks. I called my roommate to make sure she was home and to see if she could drive me to the airport. I got home, pulled out my suitcases & threw clothes in. Black dresses. Funeral clothes. Funeral wear. I packed the pants Meghan bought me, and the matching (airbrushed) shirts I had got Adam and Meghan and I for Christmas. Mine was a unicorn, hers was a flying llama, his a narwhal. She was mortified, and probably never ventured to put it on.

I bought my plane ticket. For some reason, my passport was already in my purse. I talked to a friend who volunteered to take care of Ed. I didn't pray a prayer. I kept saying to myself... "Dear Jesus." Not... "Dear Jesus," as in the beginning of a prayer or a letter, even. I couldn't ask for comfort- I didn't know how. The last thing I grabbed before I left was my hat. I didn't want people in the airport to see my pain. I also loaded my purse with kleenex and a book- my escape.

A different friend came to get me to take me to the airport. Chick-fil-a on the way. She was such a blessing, chattering about who knows what, but keeping me from dwelling on the reality of it all. I got to the airport and checked my bags. I tried to avoid everyone's eyes when I walked around. I tried to mutter as few words as possible. Somehow, the day passed. Tears escaped my eyes only occasionally, and luckily, nobody seemed willing or able to acknowledge them. I didn't have to explain to anyone else that day.

I got anxious deplaning in Detroit. I turned a corner in the airport and saw my parents waiting to pick me up. I ran. I needed comfort. We cried a few tears, but didn't lose it. I asked them more questions. I guess I didn't need to ask them if it was all real. We all knew it was coming. But we thought it would be "eventually." We never imagined eventually would be that soon.

Adam and Meghan were married for one day less than one month. I was her maid of honor, Brad was Adam's best man. Him and I were the official witnesses. It was not supposed to be the only wedding. I still have invitations to make and a plan to execute. A wedding binder to make. A chance to be neurotic. I went to sleep that night knowing that Wednesday would suck.

Wednesday, the three of us woke early. We had to get up to Canada for the viewing- family only. I almost didn't want to be included in the ranks of those closest to her. The pain so intense, so raw, so unavoidable. But I was. She was my sister. Only for a month, but forever family. We got to the Baker's house early. Reality hit hard when Adam walked into the kitchen. We hugged like we were never going to let go. We did, but not before pain erupted and our hearts were ripped open, exposed, bleeding.

We made the short, two- block drive to the funeral home in silence. I, at that point, didn't want to see her. I didn't want to remember her that way- a lifeless shell. I knew it wasn't her, but just the remains of her. I didn't have a choice, though. Funeral homes don't allow you to choose. Our hearts were completely open when we were in that room- completely unprotected, unguarded.

I thought back to the wedding day as I sat along a wall, as small as I could make myself. I wanted to tell her she was beautiful that day. Her wedding day. But I didn't. I wanted to have a bachelorette party with her, but didn't. I wanted to make her a bouquet of flowers, but didn't. I didn't want to over step boundaries. I wish I did, though. I wish in insisted her Dad walk her down a makeshift aisle. How were we to know that would be her only wedding?

I wrote her three, maybe four times since her wedding. The first one, I practically begged her to keep fighting. I was almost ashamed when I sent that one. I was asking her to stay strong while I wrote that through my pouring, incessant tears. Seems selfish and unfair of me.

We went back to the house after that, and more people showed up. Some brought food. The rest of the day was a blur. We looked through hundreds of pictures of her, and printed them out. We placed some photos on foamcore, and planned to hang some in between the boards the next day. Mom and Dad and I went back to Michigan to spend the night there. Some of the strangest, most real moments of the whole trip, though, were at the border patrol. I know it's their job to ask the reason of your visit. You just don't want to admit that you're going somewhere because someone died. I still don't want to answer that question.

Thursday was another long day. That was the day of the visitation. This is when the family stands in a line, greets strangers, and listens to their asinine words of comfort. Some woman told me that I look exactly like Meghan. I wish I could have punched her in the mouth, but that behavior is apparently frowned upon. Someone asked me how my vacation was when I returned home. Words meant to comfort and move on, but aren't all that comforting. At least it was something else to think about other than the reality of what's happening.

I met Meghan's close friends that day. People that loved her dearly, and were able to know her deeply. They are all completely different from each other. She saw something in each of them and knew how to love them well.

I couldn't stand in the receiving line long. I wanted to run away. I do, however, remember introducing myself as Adam's sister and being consumed with pride for my brother. He turned into an amazing man, worthy of respect. Before Meghan, I thought him to be irresponsible and unfocused. But because of Meghan, she allowed him and encouraged him to flourish. She let him grow up and mature- she loved him well. He is a different man than before Meghan... a better man.

I spent that night in Petrolia- slept a few hours and readied myself. I wasn't sure how to look. What a weird thing to worry about. I mean, I wanted to look nice, but I didn't want to overdo it. Too much makeup, or too much jewelry. But I knew Meghan to always look fabulous. She was beautiful- tall, but not too tall. Dark, exotic features. Perfect eyebrows. And killer hair. Even when she had no hair, I thought her to be gorgeous. But strangely, she didn't seem to notice that. She didn't pay attention much... She just existed beautifully.

There were 8 of us pallbearers. And Adam carried the urn to the front of the church. We stood in the back before the service, and listened to "It is well with my soul." Indeed it is. Or it will be. But my soul aches first. I picked a perfect version of it- Katie Giguere sings it. Just a girl and her guitar. It felt like she was there in the church with us.

6 people spoke during the service. Adam spoke first, and in part of it, he said... "the light that shines brightest burns half as long." Indeed she was bright. I got up and read a prayer. I can't remember much of it. I do, however, remember praying that the family be comforted in their sorrow. I hope they are. I know they are.

After the service, we were supposed to go in to the fellowship hall to eat cold cuts, egg salad and jello salad. What an odd way of doing things. Jello salad? Pretty sure that I don't want any hint of jello salad after my funeral.

We packed up after that and drove up to the cottage. It was one of her favorite places to be. I can see why. That is such a healing thing to do- to go somewhere out of the way, surround yourself with only the people that were closest to her, and hide for a few days. We didn't shed many tears there. We spoke openly of her. We did a puzzle. We laughed. We smiled to ourselves and sat in silence.

In fact, I haven't shed many tears since the funeral. Maybe I'm numb. Maybe I'm waiting until I'm home. I doubt my grief is over. My sadness will be revisited many times over the next couple of months and coming year. I know that. It may be mixed with sadness over my own life and current dilemmas. It may be fear that I cry. What if I go and don't know the depth of love that Adam & Meghan shared? I hope my life is one marked by joy and accomplished goals and fulfilled dreams, as Meghan's was. I hope I face bravely the challenges set before me like she did. I hope I carry myself with grace and beauty, the way she did. And I hope I remember the few memories I have of her. She wasn't born to be my sister, but chosen to be my sister. I can't be more thankful.

*k

there's sunshine in my heart.

2010-04-26T22:15:00.006-05:00

In the summer between my junior and senior years of college (summer of '04), I enrolled in an independent study graphic design class. I had decided that what the world needed was not another poster, or another record cover, or another logo. What the world needed was some new greeting cards. I've loved letters- getting them, writing them... it was one of the few ways I was able to communicate with my Grandma when I was younger. So, noticing that most of the "christian" greeting cards made me want to vomit, I decided to... remodel them a bit. I created a line of greeting cards that excited me and made me laugh. It's been almost 6 years in the making, but I've finally decided to do something about these cards that have been waiting their turn. Well, dear friends... here they are. I bought a bottle of champagne tonight after posting the cards, hoping to drink it when I sold my first card. (I expected these cards to take a couple of weeks to sell.) And God surprised me. Delighted me. And Loved me. I drank the champagne tonight. :)

I sure do love his love (go ahead... click it! it works!!)

*k

tender heart

2010-04-14T22:52:00.005-05:00

To my sheer and utter mortification, I came to the realization on sunday evening that I may, in fact, be tender hearted. Let me back up a bit to explain.

I grew up playing sports. Soccer, t-ball (on the boys team, of course), softball, lacrosse (in the later years), etc etc etc. Although I did own barbies, I recall playing with my brother's GI Joes much more frequently and the barbies were merely used to torment my cousin Ben. (sorry, benjo.) I was the test dummy on all of Adam and his little boy scout friends' push car things (and have scars to prove it). I got jealous of my brother when he got a BB gun from Grandpa George and all I got was a music box and a copy of charlotte's web from Grandma Dorothy. Get the picture?

It started changing around... college, perhaps? I wore my first pair of real high-heels when in Spain (my Junior year, I believe). I remember the shoes. Which is the first thing to note. I remember the shoes. I fell in love with shoes. I took a watercolor class and painted roses. I started, in earnest, watching decorating shows- beginning with TLC. And now I have fabric flowers adorning my headboard, lace runners on most of my furniture, over 60 pairs of shoes in the closet (I don't want to talk about it.), and a basket full of make-up. These things do not make me tender-hearted. They may make me a bit more... feminine, according to worldly standards. But they did mark a change in my patterns and behaviors.

Fast forward to Sunday evening. I'm babysitting an infant, and after just fed her, changed a nasty diaper and rocked her to sleep, I started back on my newest book, So Long Insecurity (Beth Moore's newest). A rather poignant passage states, "... the more tenderhearted we are, the more vulnerable to insecurity we'll likely be. Some people take things harder and deeper to heart than others. It's not a matter of weakness. It's a matter of personal sensitivity... I feel everything. My joys are huge, and so are my sorrows. If I'm mad, I'm really mad, and if I'm despondent, I wonder how on earth I'll go on. Then I get up, pour some coffee, and move on to the next emotion and forget how depressed I was an hour ago." She goes on to say, "Life is really hard. No one can escape it. No one is unscathed by it. But we are not just flailing aimlessly in a universal black hole. There is purpose. There is order- because there is God."

Maybe it's just this time in my life, but I feel like I've never felt before. My heart explodes with happiness, with sadness, with grief, and with love. And all of those can happen within a day. But I take comfort in the fact that, once again in Beth's words, "He knows it's scary to be us." "Let Him tell you you're worth wanting, loving, even liking, pursuing, fighting for, and yes, beloved, keeping."

*k

smile

2010-04-07T22:29:00.000-05:00

I found this picture tonight, and it made me smile. It looks like joy and it makes me believe in love.

Randolph.

2010-04-05T10:32:00.000-05:00

There are so many reasons why I love my dad. Here are some of them.

1. He is quite a studmuffin. I mean, look at this.

2. He is one of the most caring and compassionate men I know.
3. He makes me laugh. When he tells jokes and when he's just sitting around not trying to make me laugh.
4. He treats Mom like a queen, and never fails to compliment her and tell her how great she is.
5. He is quick to listen.
6. He provides for his family.
7. He's why I've waited so long to get married. I want to find a guy like my dad, and they just don't make them quite like they used to.
8. He (and Mom) raised an incredible man in Adam.
9. He is the best dancer I've ever seen. Seriously, you should ask him to show you some of his moves.
10. He taught me how to ride a bike.
11. He lets me tweeze his eyebrows on occasion.
12. He taught me how to drive a car, and we've both lived to tell about it.
13. He taught me how to fall asleep anywhere.
14. He taught me the value of being wise with your money.
15. He instilled in me the value of planting flowers at your home.
16. He led our family to be a family that loves the Lord.
17. He always brought presents back from trips he went on. Even if the presents were the shampoo bottles from the hotel rooms, he let us know he was thinking of us.
18. He tells me that he's either a) my biggest fan, or b) I'm his biggest daughter.
19. He makes me smile.
20. He encourages me.

I could go on for days. Really, I could.

Happy birthday, Big Poppa. I love you.

*k

Okay.

2010-03-31T18:57:00.000-05:00

Last week, I heard a sermon that talked about encouragement. Strange that the pastors for the past two weeks have known that I need to hear more about that subject. One of the points was that God will give you encouragement in unexpected places. So even though this may be trite or silly, I still find that it gives my soul a little bit of hope.

the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Psalm 147:11

I win. Fortune Cookies say I win.

2010-03-15T22:01:00.001-05:00

I have one good news.

2010-03-09T09:27:00.000-06:00

Quick update- Still haven't found a job, but am in the hunt. Stalking jobs like prey on the animal channel. This I learned from Ed.

First good news, I'm getting a sister!! No, Mom and Dad aren't pregnant. That would be super-weird. Adam popped the question, and him and Meghan are getting married! So excited about that, and also really excited about visiting Canada. Never been up there, so I've actually been emailing Meghan my questions about Canada. Such as... do they have libraries? Does everybody play hockey and/ or curl? Is it always snowy in Canada? Anyway. Really excited to be getting a Mrs. Meghan Warnerbaker. (Wonder if she'll combine names?)

Second good news. We got the For the Love of Meghan bracelets in! These will be used as fundraisers for her- minimum of $5 donation (shipping not included), maximum donation of a bazillion dollars!! Email me (comment if you don't already know my email address) if you're interested- you can obvi buy more than one, too!!

Anyway, super excited to be sharing those two good things.

*k

sunny day in winter

2010-03-03T22:53:00.000-06:00

I love the way these make me feel. It makes me feel like winter's not the worst thing ever, like bad news won't stay bad, and even though gray sounds sad, it's actually quite beautiful.

*k

And the punches keep rolling in.

2010-02-15T22:42:00.000-06:00

It snowed on Thursday. Unexpectedly for me... I don't watch much news, and the only weather news I see is what comes up on my iGoogle homepage. So here it came... about 8 inches of it. Ed loved the stuff. And I love watching Ed play. It brings joy to my life.

So Friday morning rolled around, and of course, the streets were not plowed. And then my power turned off, leaving my stranded. I parked in the garage that night (wouldn't you, if it was snowing?)... but I got locked in. Once I figured out how to manually release the door, I went in to work. And promptly got laid off. !??!!?!?! I went home to regroup, and have no plan. But I feel better about the steps I've taken. With only 4 months of employment under my belt, this situation is all to familiar. But I'm reminded of a verse I just posted:

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

and some friends sent some encouragement. I <3 them.

*k

ps. know of anyone looking to hire in the dfw area? anyone?! bueller? anyone?

Heartfelt thanks

2010-02-05T06:39:00.000-06:00

I can't wait to get pictures from Meghan of her walls FILLED with hearts. Thanks to everyone who participated/ is planning on participating. As you might have guessed, one way I am deal is through doing. (Another is through writing, which is weird. I have a hard time expressing myself verbally, but am totally willing to share with you through written words.)This may end up being a long post, as there are two things I want to cover. But hang in there.

First, my feelings toward my brother and Meghan. The more that I talk with people about this, the more they are impressed with how Adam and Meghan are handling this situation. Obviously, I know Adam better, so I'll start with him. My heart bursts (sometimes, it feels literal) with pride about how strong and courageous he is. I've grown up knowing that when you love someone, you love them when they're sick and when they're well. Dad and Mom taught us kids this. But Adam- wow. He met Meghan when she was well, but know he loves her more deeply despite the fact that she's sick. I've said it before, but I want to meet and marry a man that is a perfect combination of my Father and Brother. Adam has shown grace and poise through this all, and is still able to have joy in his life. Meghan, I got really excited about you when you guys were still in Korea. Adam wouldn't talk about you for the first couple of months that you were dating (probably because he knew I would freak out... in a good way, and he didn't want to be bombarded by a million questions). I love to see Adam happy and settled, with a woman that challenges him and is fun and joyful, strong and courageous. I get excited when just the two of us get to hang out and have jokes that Adam gets creeped out by. (I hope we can hug and murmur into each other's ears for years to come.)

Secondly, as I mentioned before, one way I handle is to do things. So one of the first projects I decided upon came naturally to me. I've been working on making flowers for the past couple of months, so this was another great way to make some crafty goodness. So here they are. A bouquet of some kind of silky and satiny flowers. I can post about the steps to flower-making later, but here they are.

Leaving you with some truth-

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3.

*k

The Heart Project

2010-02-03T09:24:00.001-06:00

So. There are times in my life when words get stuck in my head and can't get out until I use them. Sometimes, they'll be rolling around for DAYS... I've wanted to say that crafting, for me, is somewhat cathartic. But then I looked up "cathartic" and found out that it in actuality meant... "an agent for purging the bowels. a laxative." so... crafting, for me, is not cathartic. soothing, but not cathartic. But I digress.

The Heart Project.

If you know Meghan, love Meghan, don't know Meghan, but are praying for her, thinking of her... whatever, think about participating in this with us? It's super-easy, will require about... 15 minutes of your time (if you're a slow cutter and writer), and will mean the world to her.

Step One: Find fun paper- wallpaper scraps, scrapbooking paper, computer paper, whatever.

Step Two: Cut a heart out of said paper.

Step Three: Write your name on said paper.

Step Four: Send to Meghan so she may hang on her walls and have tangible, everyday reminders of how much people are fighting with her and supporting her.

Step Four point One: If you don't have Meghan's address, leave a comment with your email address and I will send it to you.

All images were found on Marthastewart.com, of course.

<3

it hurts.

2010-01-30T12:52:00.000-06:00

Really, there is only one way to describe the way you feel when you get a second cancer diagnosis. The simple way would be to say that it hurts. The more in depth way would be to say that it feels like your insides are being ripped apart slowly, and by someone who has a dull set of scissors. I guess that's a little graphic, but I think it helps paint the picture.

And I think one of the hardest parts about this all is that you wish there was something you could do to help. Like I said before, you wish you could take part of the pain away and handle it yourself. You walk around every day, with a lump the size of a mountain stuck in your throat, threatening to burst at any moment in time. So you almost hope that people don't ask how you're doing- so you won't have to lie- and so the dam won't break. But at the same time, if they don't ask how you're doing, you get so angry at them for being heartless and insensitive. It's hard to describe your feelings, and hard to be able to decipher what feeling belongs in which compartment. You might be sad, which literally makes you a couple inches shorter, due to the fact that you're carrying around the weight of the world. You might be hopeful, which leaves your eyes glistening. You might be thankful, but still have a lump in your throat.

Anyway. When I get really stressed out about things, I like to have a to-do list. I like to have an action plan. So here's what I am doing, and what you can do as well.

-Sending flowers is an easy and a nice way for Meghan to know you're supporting her. Since I'm a crafter and I feel that crafting is a soothing way for me to handle and deal, I'm sewing flowers. I'll post pics of that, but only after Meghan gets them in the mail. She likes to cheat sometimes and peek at presents.

-It is always meaningful when someone makes something special that shows or says how you feel. In this instance, I think it would be lovely and wonderful- even if you don't know her personally, to write your name on a heart and send it to her in the mail. How great would it be for her to hang hearts all over her room with names of people that love her?

-Snail mail always rules. It's personal and requires effort and means more. And it's a simple way to brighten anyone's day... even if it's just a postcard.

-Financial help is pretty obvious and definitely useful. Meghan has at least two hours of driving everyday for radiation in the winter across extremely windy farm late in a boxy v-6. which might not mean much to you but to her and her family that means gas chomper. The average for Canadian gas in Ontario right now is $3.64 per gallon (.96 per liter.) that adds up quickly in car that gets under 20 miles to the gallon.

-Email. But not just one to say you're sad. Its nice and true, but it is much more beneficial if your intention is to talk (about anything and everything) rather than to tell her what you are feeling.

-For right now we need to keep phone calls limited. While it's quick, it can also be exhausting for the Baker's. They need rest, so please be respectful of them as a family. If you want to send something get in touch with Me (via the comments with your email address) and I'll send you her address or email.

-Lastly, don't run away. This may be hard on you, and your way of dealing with it might be to forget about it, to isolate yourself from others, or to pretend like it's not there. Don't do this. Meghan needs your love and support, and you need a network of people as well. Don't run away from your friends. Lean on them and let them help you through it. Be vulnerable with the people in your life...

-Pray without ceasing. Pray for comfort, for peace, for strength, for patience, for hope, for miracles.

Please use this link for monetary donations, we appreciate all of you and your support in whatever form you choose;

<3

punch. in. the. face.

2010-01-28T09:54:00.000-06:00

So when I started this blog, it was intended to be a design blog. But it's morphed into a bit more than that. At times, it's a collection of fun things I've been doing, things I love to look at, or things that make me smile. Other times, it's a record of what I've been up to lately. And at other times, it turns into a bit of a release of sorts... I named it punch in the face for many reasons. One of which was that it related to my thesis at the time that I was in grad school. But now, it seems a bit appropriate in relation to everything I tend to do or be involved in. Sometimes, you get news that hits you like a punch in the face. It sucks the wind out of you and leaves you broken, bullied, bruised, swollen and hurting.

We got news on Tuesday that Meghan's cancer has metastasized and is now in her brain. She finished treatments in July from breast cancer- treatments that included a single mastectomy, chemo, radiation and other things you never wish upon anyone. Not even on people that cut you off in traffic, people that say terrible things about you, or people that offend and hurt you. You wish, at times, that you could take the physical pain of others upon yourself. Or perhaps dole it out to a number of people that can help carry the weight.

You wish you understood why. You cry yourself to sleep knowing that there is a road that you must walk, pain that you must endure, and hope beyond hope that the light at the end is brighter and shinier than it was where you started. When things happen like this, you wish you understood what you know in your heart- that God is good. You hope that you will soon understand it in your head, but also know that you will never understand His goodness and His love- and that's the beauty of it. You can't understand why or how, but you trust Him.

If you pray, pray hard.

Bring Your Mallard to Work Day.

2010-01-19T08:45:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's a holiday I created. Whatever. It makes for a good Tuesday when Glen is perched atop your desk. (Glen is Mallard's real name... Mr. Glen, to be precise.) I got Glen recently in a box of Christmas goodies from two of my besties. Glen arrived to them via another friend who got him from a well-meaning, although quite odd, stepdad. Stepdad might be overdoing it, too. Let's just say mother's husband. So, let's follow this chain. Glen came from a friend of a friend of a mother's husband. Got it? But I do know the secondary friend... and the mother. Just not the husband. Regardless. Today is Bring Your Mallard to Work Day.

First thing in the morning, I had to take a photo of us getting ready to leave. Ed was so freaked out by Glen that he wouldn't sit down next to him. The lunchpail had to be used as a buffer. Even then, Ed eyed Glen with a mistrust and almost a hint of disdain.

Then Glen and I were off! I still have a hard time actually touching Glen. You see, at one time, he was a living, breathing Mallard. (I'm saying Mallard, when in fact, I have no idea what he is. Should you happen to know what kind of bird Glen is, please inform.) And now, Glen is stuffed. With fake eyes and stuff. It's gross.

Regardless, Mallard and I are here. At work. I had to carry him in to the office, and I must say... I walked faster than normal. And normal is pretty fast. You see, when I was young, Randolph (my lovely Father) would always tell me... "Kelly, walk with purpose." And so that is what I do. I walk with purpose.
(Glen getting ready to walk in to the office.)

(Glen waiting on the elevator.)

(Glen getting settled in for a long day.)

You will find below comments that happened on National Bring Your Mallard To Work Day. And Reactions. And Occurrences.

10:02am... "Kelly, is there a bird on your desk?"

11:12am... By the way, Glen smells bad.
11:40am... "WHAT IS THAT??! IS THAT A DUCK?!!" (photo taken after Aaron befriended Glen.)

1:53pm... "So do they send all of their friends... birds?" (In reference to the gift of Glen for Christmas from my lovely and thoughtful friends.)

2:45pm... "What kind of bird is that? Looks like a pretty good bird."
Me: "To eat? or to befriend?"
Other Person Who Shall Remain Nameless But Will Have Every Word Capitalized To Indicate Their Importance In My Work Days: "No, no... To befriend."

3:26pm... Someone stole the Mallard.

****Glen has been located based on the comment to follow****
4:10pm... person one: "oh my gosh, you just touched it!!!"
Person Two (Again, Indicating Importance With The Capitalized Words): "It's okay, I'm going to wash my hands."

4:28pm..."Your bird is on my desk, but I don't really want to move it because they kinda freak me out."(Glen after he was located. Silly duck. Ducks don't do CADD.)

4:51pm... "Hey, nice duck."

Glen and I after a long, hard day.

Again with the talented friends.

2010-01-14T08:43:00.000-06:00

This is the same talented friend that made the headboard. He makes cakes for people. Last year, his most notable cake was most likely an armadillo cake for our friend, Joncowboy. This year, the cake was for our friend Amber. She's a princess.

And lucky for me (and you!), Rickybobby took process pictures so now you, too, can make a princess cake.
Bake the dang cakes. In this cake, the bundt is a very important tool.

[upon receiving a bundt cake from Mrs. Miller]
Maria Portokalos: It's a cake! I know! Thank you! Thank you very, very much.
[whispering to Aunt Freida]
Maria Portokalos: There's a hole in this cake!

Assemble the cakes. The more frosting, the better.

Again, more frosting, please!

Once the bottom two layers are properly iced, bundt it up!

Apparently, they ran out of frosting here and had to go to the store. It's also a good idea to let the cake rest a little bit, so it won't crumble all over the place.

Make sure you have the right tools. And enough frosting. At this stage, make sure your frosting is dyed the correct color that you wish the skirt of the dress to be.

Frosting has been properly applied.

Now, frosting must be properly styled.

Start piping on the decorative details of the dress that are necessary. You can also use sprinkles and glitter if the piping isn't your forte.

Skirt complete.

omigosh! I'm a princess!! Ta-daaaaa!!

Add your message to the platter.

And then let that girl chill.

*k

If there were a picture of Jesus, I'd post it.

2009-12-18T15:49:00.000-06:00

But since there aren't, I'll post my third favorite thing in the entire world. (one, jesus. Two, family. Three, this guy.)
happy merry lovely christmas, friends.

*k

favorites

2009-12-08T13:58:00.000-06:00

First, a discussion on the meaning of favorites for me: Something I really really like, but at any point in time, I may like something more than said object, although I will still call it my "favorite." Same goes for my bff. I have like 5 BFF, although I am fully aware of the definition of "best".

Moving on.

This is my new favorite store. (Referencing an earlier post, EQ3 still holds ranking as my favorite store... how can I have two favorites, when the nature of the word "favorite" indicates only one primary winner? It's possible in my world, with my rules.) Right. It's my favorite for a number of reasons, one of which is the fact that I can practically hear the buyer saying to themselves... "I'm going to bring this in the store because I think it's cool and I feel like it", rather than having any real justification like... shelf life, supply & demand, etc.

Although I'm pretty sure the supply for these shoes is not enough for my demand. I. Love. These.

Also, I fully understand the fact that you can only wear one jacket at a time, and that I live in Texas. This does not deter me from wanting to purchase 16 jackets. This being one of them.

Most of my friends are aware of my fondness of things like this. Robots, ninjas, pirates, flowers, unicorns... Are there any psychologists out there? What does this mean?!?!

And lastly, a home is not a home until you get these candles. CANDLES. I am scared to know what they look like when they're halfway melted.

Oh. Right. shopplasticland.com.

enjoy.

*k

My bff's headboard!!

2009-11-25T11:07:00.001-06:00

Apparently, we're in full-blown new headboard season. And I thought it was just Thanksgiving. One of my bff's, who is super-talented, painted an old headboard. After a good bit of back-and-forth with what to paint, he decided on VanGogh's "Vincent's Bedroom in Arles". How fun is this?
thanks to my friend, rickybobby, for sending me the pics!!

I found it!

2009-11-15T21:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I found multiple things. One, I found my new favorite store... Called EQ3, they have a *bunch* of great stuff there. Mostly a modern vintage-y vibe, but also set up similarly to Ethan Allen. Which makes no sense. Because Ethan Allen is neither modern nor vintage. Silly. I'm talking about the showroom-style-ness of it all. But you can also run in and grab stuff. The floor samples are super-cheap, so next time I'm looking for some furniture, I'm going there. Or rather, the first time I ever go furniture shopping, I'm going there. Maybe when I grow up, I'll look into that.

Two, I found my new duvet cover. I bought one, brought it home, and it was all wrong. Wrong color, wrong vibe, wrong wrong wrong. And it was like $130 or so. Which was a bit out of my price range. So I took it back and got this one instead. Right right right. Exactly what I wasn't looking for and fell in love with anyway. (Wonder if that's how it's going to be with my future hubby?!) Anyway, I digress. Took this bad boy up to the register, and plopped down a whopping $32. A birthday miracle!! And happiness happens to me any time I walk into my room.

*k

My. New. House.

2009-11-11T20:06:00.001-06:00

Here it is. In all of it's messyness and unfancy glory. I kept getting pressure to post some pictures, and despite the fact that nothing is presentable and ready for pictures, I kept getting pressure. So I gave up trying to get the house ready for pictures, because, let's be honest... it's going to take months... years, even, to get the house picture-ready. Years may be a little dramatic, but you get the point. I bit the bullet and posted pics of my unfinished bed/headboard combination, so I might as well post pics of the unfinished house.

And here she is.

The front living room. And Ed.

The kitchen.

The back living room.

And the best part about my house.

*k

headboard!!

2009-10-31T18:34:00.000-05:00

Seriously, sorry. I haven't posted in so long. After getting a job, I moved. And I've been moving in and settling in to my new Dallaslife. I finally feel like things are coming together- especially after I could cross a few projects off my list. First, I felt it necessary to make a headboard. The other projects will be coming in later posts. So here's what I came up with... I still have a little bit of tweaking to do- more flowers, and some rearranging, but cousinHeidi keeps asking me for dang pictures.

Problem: The bed has nothing to anchor it.

Step one: (well, the real step one wasn't documented, so we're going to start here instead.) Mount the hanging board to the wall. I took a 2x4 and cut it at a 45 degree angle- mounted one side to the headboard, and one side to the wall... that way, the headboard will just rest in place and can be redone when I get bored with the color.

Step two: obviously, make sure it's level.

Three: Make sure it hangs at the correct height above pillows.

Four: Make sure you have all the supplies you will need- In this case, I bought a few yards of batting to cushion the board.

Lay the board flat on top of the fabric & batting. Then staple the fabric and batting to the board.

Hang it up!! Make sure the fabric looks decent and doesn't pull in strange places.

Again, I forgot to document a step- where I made fabric flowers out of scraps I had laying around. After I made the flowers, I then pinned them to the headboard.

Here are two of the flowers pinned in place...

And more of the flowers pinned in place!! I want a lot more flowers to be pinned on, but that's going to have a to wait for a bit.

I had to make my halloween costume first. :)

*k

wow.

2009-10-06T13:09:00.001-05:00

joe, do you want me to strike him with a knuckle sandwich?!

You can't make this stuff up, folks.

2009-09-27T21:08:00.000-05:00

So I started work last week. LOVE IT. I've been going to THE grassy knoll during lunch time and enjoying the sights. After the first day of lunch out there, I knew I had had had to take my camera with me. Some of the stuff I saw was just too good not to document. So as I headed out to eat my picnic lunch on Friday, I happened upon my very own parade. Just to welcome me to the city, I'm sure. And I started taking photos, started furiously texting... and giggling. I loved every second of it. Despite the fact that many of my friends thought I was lying to them (Jessica), I have proof. And here it is. You can't make this stuff up, folks.

Quick. Find the off-duty Santa.

Nothing says State Fair of Texas like turkey legs, green chilis, and crawfish tails. What?

Chickenhead. Literally.

This duck, you may notice, is farting bubbles.

Pirate ships? In Texas?

I have NO idea what these guys were doing in the parade. Other than being really really awesome.

This guy was infiniti awesome better than the other guys, though. That's a DART train.

Typical. Stagecoaches in Texas. Typical.

Also typical: poop clowns. They walk behind horses and clean up the poops. I almost wish I had their job. And then I punch myself in the face and realize that no, no I don't.

I literally squealed with delight when I saw these horses wearing unitards. Just like their riders.

Hello, Ms. State Fair of Texas. You are so honor-able.

To my utter delight, two cowboys walked by. Ahhhh drink it in, friends.

This poor guy was wearing waders as his band leader boots. Not like that was a problem or anything. Just noting the facts.

And lastly, when you can't march, you might as well get a dude to push your wheelchair in a parade. Wonder what the guy would have been doing if he wasn't pushing his bff around the streets of downtown Dallas?

*k

5g_studio

2009-09-14T11:38:00.000-05:00

So since my time in Dallas, I've come across this design firm (5g_studio). They do some amazing things... furniture design, architecture, interiors... a whole host of things, really. They're a collaborative that makes their way across the states and finds themselves overseas quite a bit. In fact, they have offices in Vietnam and North Africa, among others. So here are a couple snapshots of their work...

And the best part about this firm? I now work for them. :)

terrible, terrible, terrible.

2009-09-03T16:38:00.000-05:00

today was a sucky day. but this made it a little bit better.

an amazing thing called meat cupcakes.

2009-08-27T17:02:00.000-05:00

I am thrilled to guest blogging at Kelly's request :) Kelly was intrigued by a recent dilemma of mine. About a week ago, I was confronted by a horrifying proposition. I was responsible for providing birthday goodies for my friend Susan's birthday. This would usually send me into fits of delight; baking is always a wonderful way to spend an afternoon if you ask me. However, quite literally the day before this revelation, Susan told me she was strictly on the Atkins diet. What do you make for someone who only eats meat and cheese??? As I pondered this thought, all I could think of was Susan telling me how she loves the diet because she simply orders meat at a restaurant and then inquires as to if they might be able to add bacon and cheese to it. Bacon cheese steaks are not really my idea of birthday goodies. And thus, the brilliant invention of the meat cupcake.

Now, I understand the total revulsion to the idea, but I have to say, they are at least 80 times prettier then what you first pictured in your head. Not that I would have particularly enjoyed it as a dessert myself, but then, that would be why I made mango sorbet for all of us non-meat for dessert folks. These are my little creations. Three varieties in fact. So the next time you are faced with a similar dilemma, might I suggest that a little prosciutto, salami and pepperoni can brighten an Atkins's birthday. Plus, then you too can claim the title of Maker of Meat Cupcakes. And really, who doesn't want that?

oh, and for those out there who honestly would want the recipe, here you go:

1- buy cold cuts.

2- curl into pretty, less deli meat style piles.

3- stick in silicone baking cups.

4- refrigerate until serving.

enjoy!

Aunt Sue Sunshine.

2009-08-27T13:14:00.000-05:00

It's been so great to be able to stay with UncleFather and AuntMother these past couple of months. I don't have a lot to repay them with, so I do what I can, with what I have, where I am. I think that's a quote from a president's wife. Let's just check to make sure. False. It was from Teddy Roosevelt. Which would make him NOT a President's wife.

Anyway. Aunt Sue's birthday was yesterday, so once again, it was cupcakextravaganza time. This time, however, the cupcakes decided to either riot or throw a rave in the oven. I can't decide which. After careful monitoring of their progress, and sweating it out, they made it to the other side. (From raw to baked, of course) In a moment of clarity, I decided that the cupcakes needed to be green. In fact, they MUST be green. That was in order to acheive my full design vision, of course. Which was a sunflower, by request.

Anyway. I tried out two new recipes. The first was for a delicious sugar-cookie-tasting cupcake. Which ended up tasting delicious, despite the bailing out of their containers. The second was for the icing. And that was a bit too confectioner's sugar-y. I guess the combination of the cake and the sugar was okay in the end, but during production, it was a mess.

So. Here they are. The unveiling of the preliminary Aunt Sue Sunshine cupcakes.
I made a much bigger mess than last time. And this was only at the beginning. I could not pick up my camera for fear of sugar invading the casing when I was midway through cupcake-ing.

This is me. Waiting. For the butter to get to room temperature.

ONE TIME. I have been tempted ONE TIME to eat a creamy butter and sugar mixture. And this was that time. It looks like mashed potatoes and delectable. I resisted that nasty urge, though.

The cupcakes after they were done cooking. MESS.

The cupcakes have been cleaned up some. But they still look like leprechaun snot.

And this, my friends, is what homemade icing looks like.

And now... the unveiling.

Ta-daaa!!!

UBD cupcakes.

2009-08-20T11:24:00.000-05:00

Welcome!! This is the saga of the very FIRST named cupcake. Yesterday was Uncle Brad's birthday (Happy Birthday, UncleFather!), so I thought it'd be a great time to delve into the world of "baking from scratch." And that is what I did. Step One: select recipe. I wasn't entirely sure how a recipe for Chocolate Sponge Cake would turn out... but I gave it a shot.

This cookbook was a book that was one of Aunt Sue's college coursebooks: "The Basic Cook Book." Clever title.

Second, collect the ingredients.

Third, whip until your arms hurt. Then whip again.

Make a mess.
Bake.
Decorate. And enjoy.

Uncle Brad gave them his seal of approval, and they have therefore earned the name: UBD cupcakes.

A new day.

2009-08-18T16:15:00.001-05:00

I changed the logo. duh. I felt a bit bauhaus-ish today. I don't really know why... but there it is.

As I'm sitting in this coffeeshop, which is now a Tuesday afternoon tradition, a million thoughts are running through my head. And I saw this on my coffee-neighbor's laptop and thought it to be helpful:

And as of right now, the most applicable thing is #2. Be calm.

So that's what I'm practicing. Being calm.*k

Julie, Julia & the blog

2009-08-11T10:39:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went to a book club. And we watched a movie. About a book. That counts, right? So let's begin; my very first book club. I never wanted to be one of those "book club girls." The thirty-somethings that are unmarried, that drink wine, commiserate about their singleness and how romantic a book is. But lo and behold, there I was... drinking wine... talking about books. Now, I tend to get quite distracted in large-group conversations, so I found myself getting lost when these women were talking... Popeye was on the large screen. How could you not get distracted about this? Anyway. Fast forward to the movie (Julie & Julia).

Fantastic. Funny, witty, cute, clever... all of those. And inspiring. Julie (main character) cooks her way through Julia Child's cookbook and blogs about it. Dedication! But now I'm completely inspired to do something similar. I haven't decided quite yet what it is that I am going to do... Suggestions? Ideas? I read this blog about doing something new every single day for 365 days. Quite interesting. But what about cupcake-ing? My bff and I have this grand idea to one day open up a cupcakery/craftsy shop. Could it have something to do with that?

I'm not sure. But I'm taking suggestions.

*k

way too many good videos to pass up today.

2009-08-06T13:00:00.003-05:00

Seriously. This is good stuff... parenting advice 101.

My favorite book.

2009-08-04T17:11:00.000-05:00

I've turned into a reader over these past couple of months. In fact, one of the best days here in Texas was when I was able to procure for myself a library card. Remember Reading Rainbow and the big push for getting a library card? Well, we're going to have to move past the nostalgia for a big. In the past 5 years, I discovered this book. And it's a children's book, really. But I found it useful. And appropriate. And the best news is that there's a series of them. All very helpful for children. And now there's a movie trailer about it. Much thanks to my friend, who discovered this trailer and passed it on to me. I will forever be indebted to him.

*k

Scraps.

2009-07-31T14:16:00.000-05:00

I love projects that utilize old scraps of craft projects gone by... And I also love the vintage feel and handmade quality of home made items. Therefore, I love these flowers. Knitted flowers and fabric flowers alike... One day, I will post ones of my own creation. But in the meantime, I will post ones of others creation. Happy weekend!!

Unemployment.

2009-07-24T11:16:00.000-05:00

I've been unemployed now for about 2 months. Rather, I was laid off in January, but I decided to embrace the unemployment until graduation and then start looking for real jobs. So here I am, in Fort Worth, TX, looking for real jobs. This is the hardest. I feel a bit like I've been getting dumped every single day since graduation. And not in the good "let's just be friends" or even a "I hate you, get out of my life" kind of way. This is the more subtle approach of never calling back. So when a guy gets your number, sounds super-interested in you, and then never calls? But you pretend like you're not anxiously waiting by the phone for the next week... yeah, that kind of break up. Some days are better than others, of course. All that to say... I was reading a book called "Secure in the Everlasting Arms" by Elisabeth Elliot last night. Love her. Here's what I got from the chapter entitled "God in Each Moment"...

'In the barren places of my life I can be assured that God is there as He is when life is fruitful, and that the time is coming (give me patience, Lord, to wait!) when He will fulfill His word: "I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set pines in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together so that people my see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this" (Isaiah 41:19-20)
Like little children on Christmas Eve, we know that lovely surprises are in the making. We can't see them. We have simply been told, and we believe. Tomorrow we shall see.'

Be encouraged that this is merely a passing moment.

My favorite.

2009-07-23T11:00:00.000-05:00

I promise, this is not turning into a wedding blog. *Promise*

This is something that really makes my heart soar. Spontaneous, large-group dancing really gets me excited. It makes me happy when people are able to throw away their silly inhibitions and enjoy life. And celebrate on a day that should be celebrated. Enjoy.

Bridesmaid's Dresses

2009-07-16T13:30:00.000-05:00

They've been historically bad ever since the beginning of... well... history. I get that the bride is supposed to be the most beautiful person on that day, but the others? They shouldn't have to purchase and wear these hideous things. Really. The highlight of today was when my Aunt pulled out this beauty from the back of her closet. She apparently not only had to wear this, but she had to make it. That's right. She hand-sewed this piece of wonderfulness all by her lonesome. Props to her for holding on to it... I hope I can wear it one day to something fancy and special.

*k

New Logos

2009-07-13T16:46:00.000-05:00

As you may or may not have been able to tell, I've been in a rut lately. A creative rut. After thesis time, I just ran out of any kind of creative juice and sputtered to a halt. It's starting to come back, albeit in small, slightly insignificant spurts, but back nonetheless. In my long and arduous search for a job- not just any job, mind you, but the right job- I've been doing some freelance graphics work. Might as well, right? Take up a little time, keep a part of my brain alive that tried for three months to atrophy into nothingness, and hopefully make a couple dollars to allow me to continue my three- times- a- week to splurge at sonic's happy hour. A friend of a friend asked me to create a logo for his youth group... and here's what I've got.

I really think it'd be much nicer if I could get the words to become convex and concave, MS Word-style... But this is still pretty good, I think.

*k

(really? Did you think this logo was serious? :) No, but for real. I need a job.)

Back in the Saddle.

2009-07-12T16:21:00.001-05:00

Maybe. No promises. So I have been living in Fort Worth for about 4 weeks now. And I LOVVVVEEE it. I mean, really. What's not to love? Here's why:
Did you know...

- if you have five dollars and chuck norris has five dollars, chuck norris has more money than you?
-There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
-Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

*k

IrIsH hOuSeS

2009-06-21T21:30:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos of the B&B's we stayed at. All in all, I would do it all over again. A million times. The women that ran these were lovely, even the creepyoldlady.

This was the second B&B we stayed at. They had a lovely Golden Retriever that instantly became my friend and nibbled on my sweater. The cows chose not to be best friends with me, though. They kept their distance despite my sweet-talking.

And this little lovely was also on the property of the second B&B. We were not granted a tour of the facility. But we did some snooping and discovered it to be quite nice on the inside.

This was the manor house we stayed at in lieu of a castle. But I liked the manor house just fine- we got a free dinner with two bottles of champagne, a bottle of wine, and all the desserts you could hope for instead of spending a night at a "castle".

This was officially creepy old lady's house. She was nice and such, but in the main dining/living/kitchenish area, she had a stuffed fox on top of a bookshelf. She also had horses, sheeps, chickens, cats, and peacocks. They were not weird. The fox and the lady were weird.

This was creepyoldlady's brokeback horse. He looked friendly, although I didn't test him...

We stayed at this house the night we drove to Ennis for the music festival. Nice house, clean, etc etc. But the hosts were leaving to go to a funeral when we arrived. Kind of strange.

We stayed at this house for two nights in the south- Traemore, I believe it's called. We LOVED this family, loved being near the water, and also needed a break from being on the go for the week prior.

This was the first house we stayed at, in Northern Ireland. Quite friendly people, and it was also where Nikos fell in love.

hahahhha. I'm so funny.

*k

The Metal Man.

2009-06-14T09:47:00.000-05:00

According to old Irish legend, The Metal Man was a statue created by a widow that lost her husband at sea. And now, for some reason, legend has it that if you are a single woman, you must hop around the statue three times on one leg, and you will be married in one year. Naturally, we searched it out and decided to hop for it. After stopping on the side of the road and parking, we had to climb over a hill, over barbed wire, traipse (trespass) through a farmer's land, and then get our hop on. We'll see if this nonsense was worth it. Only 11 months to go.

He's such a studmuffin, isn't he?

Taking the long way around...

I was seriously tired out after this nonsense....

*k

tombstones...

2009-06-06T16:58:00.000-05:00

This was on one of the last days in Ireland, and they were just too beautiful to ignore. If I was to get a tattoo, I would seriously think about getting one of these inked.

Carrickfergus, Giant's Causeway & Rope Bridge

2009-06-04T11:49:00.000-05:00

The first day was rough... we arrived after an overnight flight and were exhausted.

But we pressed on and decided to get a full day of sightseeing in anyway. We stayed at this quaint little B&B in Carrickfergus, a town in Northern Ireland on the coast.

After getting our bags situated, we made our way in to Belfast for the afternoon, where downpours greeted us. Nothing like walking around in the POURING rain (in a foreign city) with a raincoat, backpack, and no map.

We drug our exhausted selves back to the B&B for dinner and a long night's sleep. The next morning, after a ridiculous shower that consisted of frigid water and then "burn your skin off" hot water as Jenny put it, we continued on the coastline to head to the rope bridge.

The water was crystal clear and the cows were close enough to sweet-talk... but the rains came down again.

Not as hard this time, but enough. After that, we traveled over to the Giant's Causeway, which was an unbelievable rock formation- where Lava met the frigid waters, it created these hexagonal pillar-things.

And then we went to pick up suzanne.

Ireland

2009-06-03T15:01:00.000-05:00

These next few posts will be of what I've been doing since graduation. My life has "flip, turned upside-down" fresh prince style. But it's great and I'm loving it. Currently, I'm sitting in a 40' RV... more on that later. I packed up my life and moved it to Texas to store it for a few months... more on that later as well. And then I went to Ireland for 10 days. Here is my favorite video from the trip. Poor quality, but amazing.

We went to Ennis, a small town in the southwest of Ireland. There was a music festival going on, so we headed to a local bar, drank some guiness, and hung out for a bit.

The ReEmergence.

2009-05-01T18:58:00.000-05:00

Welcome back to life, kids. I've had such a crazy past month that if I haven't talked to you, my entire life is upside-down. The thesis exhibition and defense are complete- all that is left is turning in the book with a year's worth of research. In other news, Mom and Dad's house in NoVA sold after 3 days on the market- still waiting on something to happen with the Chesapeake house. Seriously, if you want to buy it, I'll let you. Mom and Dad put the down payment on the RV, and traveling life will commence when I am in Ireland. And between now and graduation, but after the book turning-in, I will be moving my life to a storage unit in Texas. Plans after Ireland are tbd, but it's looking more and more like I will be traveling with Mom and Dad in the RV for a couple months. So- the highly anticipated and exhaustipating thesis exhibition- here are some pics. So excited that it's over, and staggering at the amount of work that was put into it.

These first two are pictures of my exhibition space: The top is a photo of the entire thing, and the bottom is a closer shot.

My thesis model... This is what I got stitches for back at the end of the Fall semester...
Farris' tape art! Amazing, huh?

Janis' wall section and gold-leafed (leaved?) tree branch.

Cilvia's wall section and the intro to Sara's boards.And the conclusion of Sara's boards...

For more photos of the actual Exhibition, click here and scroll to April 26th.

*k

Hibernation...

2009-04-29T15:34:00.000-05:00

I'm considering moving out of my hibernation mode. Possibly. Sometimes, it's just best to take some time off from it all and regroup. So in the meantime, here's a picture.

*k

Vacation House

2009-04-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

With two contracts on the house in NoVA, I'm one step closer to my vacation home.

stress test

2009-04-19T07:56:00.000-05:00

Here is a very quick test to determine your stress level. Read the following description completely before looking at the picture.

The picture below was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences between the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph, and if you find more than one or two differences, you may want to take a vacation, or at least get a massage.

2nd house on the market...

2009-04-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

And here is the highly anticipated second house on the market!! This one is in Northern Virginia, and has it's own website- check it out here: 4111minstrelllane.com

*k

Furniture.

2009-04-14T22:08:00.000-05:00

It's crunch time for the Thesis. Postings will be sparse, at best. In my quest for the perfect furniture for my retreat center, I came across these from propertyfurniture.com... and I fell in love. Enjoy.

HE IS RISEN!!!

2009-04-12T09:02:00.000-05:00

HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!

my life lately.

2009-04-09T06:15:00.001-05:00

This is my thesis building. It makes me tired.

overhead in the studio

2009-04-09T05:03:00.000-05:00

"You know, bronzer makes me break out... in a REAL way." -J. Janis

ohhh how i'm going to miss these conversations!

my first house.

2009-04-06T20:01:00.000-05:00

My parents and I spent all weekend getting my first house prepped, painted, and ready to go. It'll officially go on the market on Thursday- if you or anyone you know is moving to Chesapeake (VA), let me know! We'll get you/them in a fancypants little home!

The pathway up to the front door. Mom planted some marigolds and geraniums to spice things up a bit.

The front family room- the room adjacent is the living room/kitchen. Upstairs are the two bedrooms and two bathrooms.

The view from the family room into the dining room. It has a working fireplace, along with an updated mantel area. Even a little bonus of a back porch/outdoor storage!

The view back into the kitchen.

The little, but uber-functional kitchen. Brand new stove, too! I'm sad to be leaving that behind... especially after the crappy college apartment stoves.

The first bedroom... this one is situated to be right above the family room, with a view to the front stoop. Great for spying on your visitors and/or throwing things at them. It has a walk-in closet and attached bathroom with shower.

(The second bedroom's bathroom.)

Master bedroom! From this window, you can see the YMCA... no excuse not to work out if you live in this house.

The master bath sink area. The nice thing about this is that the sink is in a completely separate room than the shower and toilet area... great for getting ready in the morning.

The master bath- brand new tile, plumbing, and seriously the best tub I've ever sat in before. In my life. And I'm not even kidding. Yet another think I'm going to miss about this house.

And here is the rear of the house with the little porch area.

Goodbye, house. Hello, happy new owner.

*k

views

2009-04-05T22:26:00.000-05:00

a few personal photos describing where i've lived and been in the last couple of years. so now, where to next....

Tired.

2009-03-31T21:37:00.000-05:00

We have had a long week... crit this morning for half of us, and the other half go on Thursday. Besides some brutal, mean-spirited comments, it went great!

Fishs Eddy

2009-03-27T07:32:00.000-05:00

When I was in NYC close to Times Square, I looked up long enough to come across this store- Fishs Eddy. I have no idea what the significance of the name is, and it's actually hard to say (try it, you'll see...), but it was SO GREAT! If I'm in need of any type of dishware in the near future, this is where I will go to get it.

They had some really great stuff- Floor plan and Section plates and glasses... how clever!

School supply patterned plates and glasses... I know at least one person that would DIE to have the graph paper glass-

NYC skyline glasses (and plates!)-

Wonderful (but expensive) cake stands-

Check them out on the web if you're into their stuff... fishseddy.com

*k

Reupholstered Chair!

2009-03-23T19:56:00.000-05:00

After a monthish of off and on work on this chair, I am done! My parents are getting ready to move, and this chair was in the pile of things to get rid of.

Since I had always wanted to try my hand at reupholstering, I thought this was the perfect opportunity. I purchased some fabric, which was definitely not upholstery-grade... not a huge concern for me. I think I ended up getting 8 yards of the main chair fabric, and three of the cushion fabric. I spent an entire day taking the old fabric off- the amount of staples was just incredible! I had three full blisters on my hand after that day, in addition to the dreaded flare-up of allergies. You see, this was a poor life choice on my part to take apart a chair that had been festering in all of its dust-mite glory for the past 10 or so years. I'm REALLY allergic to dust mites. Two full weeks later, I had recovered from both ailments and was ready to start working again.(The nastiness that collected in the chair. pretzels, coins... you name it!)

I alternated between sewing the cushion and stapling the fabric to the chair... the cushion was super-hard to sew, but it got done. And the chair was stapled and put back together again. Just don't look too close- it's not perfect. All in all, if I could go back, I would reselect the cushion fabric... it just ends up being really busy. And I may decide to tackle that at a later time, in addition to painting the legs. In the meantime, it's finishing school, finding a job, selling and staging two houses, moving, and having fun in the midst of it all.

Should you want more directions or tips on how to reupholster from a definite non-pro, let me know!

Should you want to hire me and/or complete the rest of my to-do list, also let me know!! :)

*k

sweet, sweet otter.

2009-03-23T12:11:00.000-05:00

i am way too obsessed with this!

NYC days 2-3

2009-03-22T20:47:00.001-05:00

I'm getting tired of this neverending blogstream of NYC posts, so I'm going to hurry this one up and finish the trip in a nutshell. Friday, I was off alone again and ventured down to the SOHO area for the second day in a row. I had to find Steven Holl's stairwell in the NYU philosophy building, the DSW I had passed the day before, MOOD fabric store, and Crumbs bakery. Now, I was well aware that DSW should have been the first stop on this grand tour, because of the state of my feet from the day before. You see, I took the wrong shoes that had negative cushion. Because of this grave error, a new pair of walking shoes had to be purchased. Function won over style.

Before I found the philosophy building, though, I found this fantastic restaurant- Sweetiepie. So precious. Hot pink booths, mirrored surfaces... just so pleasant to be in. And the waitstaff was quite foreign and quite beautiful.

I found the philosophy building after some prodding of security officers and was able to take a few shots. Simple design, simple construction, big effect.

Traveled on to MOOD, the store where all Project Runway contestants purchase their fabrics... AMAAAAZING. Bolts of fabric were covering every surface in the store. Staff was not so friendly, and there was some strange Jersey-type designer there breastfeeding while purchasing fabrics. With no blanket covering. Awkward. (You can see the signage in the second story windows. Terrible signage.)

And then on to Crumbs. They were out of the Twinkie cupcakes that I was hoping to score, but I did manage a Brownie Cupcake. I finally recovered from the sugar overload and headed back uptown.

Saturday followed with a trip to the Guggenheim and a walk through Central Park. All in all, a lovely trip.
Much thanks to my wonderful friend, Sarah. She's the best hostess ever.

*k

more spring!

2009-03-21T15:29:00.000-05:00

this flower dress by kuga designs is amazing!

check out the process work here.

and, yes, the site plays easy listening music.

happy spring!

2009-03-20T16:05:00.001-05:00

woohoo! 1,000 sf kitchen garden.... for the white house.

i'm excited. and so is this guy!

NYC Day 1, Part C

2009-03-19T22:52:00.001-05:00

Well shoot. I lied. One more part to day one. When I got back from my travels during the day, Sarah took me to Columbia Teacher's College, where she attends class. She was telling me that people there complain because their building is so old and everyone else gets these new "fancy" buildings. Little do they know how incredibly beautiful their building is. Check this out- in the lobby alone-

The following photo is of St. John's church, I believe? Such an amazing church that I had to go back when it was light outside so I could get a good shot of it.

And lastly, the biggest lie known to man. The Seinfeld restaurant. Seriously, it's a farce. The producers only film the outside of the restaurant!! The scenes inside the restaurant are filmed elsewhere. It really got under my skin and I decided never to eat there because... basically... it sits on a throne of lies.

Day 2 coming soon!!! Finally!

*k

NYC Day 1, part B

2009-03-18T12:48:00.000-05:00

So after all that mess, I headed on to Parson's. I noticed while I was there how incredibly difficult it is to find things... For some reason, it's super-easy to miss what you're looking for. Parson's was in a nondescript dark grey building with no real indication that it was actually Parson's. Jerks.
(Architecture student's work on display at Parson's... GREAT way to communicate your work without words!)

I left there after an hour or so, and then proceeded to get incredibly lost in SOHO/ Greenwich Village for the next 2 hours or so. Walking. Stopping into an occasional store. More walking. Trying to find the Storefront for Art & Architecture by Stephen Holl. I got so fed up and tired of walking that I stopped at Eileen's Cheesecake Shop for a snack.

AMAZING. Seriously, this is a place to go to if you're in NYC. They don't have a ton of variety, with an even smalller store, but it's fantastic. After my treat of goodness, I turned the corner and lo-and-behold... the Storefront for Art & Architecture.

Disappointing!! I had hoped for something fancier, maybe? Maybe something that sparkled and glittered when the sunlight hit it? I'm not sure what I hoped for, exactly, but it was just okay. I'm glad I got to see it, though. After all that mess, I got to go back up North to my friend's house. Long day. And my dogs were officially BARKING.

Good news, people. There's still 3 more days to this trip!!

*k

NYC Day 1, part A

2009-03-16T10:01:00.000-05:00

The NYC trip... Day 1 was killer. I flew in and had my bags by 7:15. 1 hour flight from IAD to JFK... then I took on the task of schlepping my bags to the Upper West Side. This took a mere 2 hours and 15 minutes. That's right. My subway trip took longer than my plane flight. But I was excited to figure out how to use the subway. So no big deal. Dropped off my bags at my lovely friend Sarah's house, got some breakfast at the bakery across the street, and then started my adventure. I wanted to go by a few places on 5th before heading down to Parson's... and I would also have to get lunch.

On my walk, I found Columbus Circle, which in reality, just looked like one big mess. I know it was designed to be this great moving circular wonderfulness, but I could not even imagine attempting to drive in it. There were lanes that corresponded to certain traffic lights, and lanes that took you to certain offshoots... I don't even know.

Also found Hearst Tower... which is crazy good. It was the first skyscraper to be built after 9/11. By the ads on the outside of it, though, it looked like they were in dire need of some inhabitants.

And then I found the Apple store. Uh-Maze-Ing. Really incredible. I read that it took a mere $7 million to create the glass box. Not even counting the store below it. Just the box was $7 mil. But it was so great to look at and created such a beautiful experience that I might almost say it was worth it.

And then I figured I would get the true NYC experience and go for a hot dog from a street vendor. Terrible idea, really. The vendor was getting in a fight with some other guy that was hanging around, and I got the nastiest version of a hot dog... luckily, there was no need for tums. Just a note to self never to do that again.*k

clueless!

2009-03-15T11:50:00.000-05:00

i have an appointment with my amazing stylist jeanette at acclaimed appearance in williamsburg this friday... what should i get??

love this, but doubt i can pull it off... probably all time favorite straight hair look.

next is a series of shoulder length cuts i LOVE. nicole's might be the best.

here are two shorter looks i like too.

Baby Do's and Don'ts.

2009-03-11T07:20:00.000-05:00

Found this today on facebook.

*k

So. Excited.

2009-03-09T21:41:00.001-05:00

I'm really excited about my trip to NYC in a couple of days. I'm also an obsessive list-maker. It's what I do. So I've made a list of what I have planned and hope to see while I'm there... in photo-form.

Beautiful at night. Maybe it'd be best to see the city by cab... maybe a CASH CAB?!!?

It's been a life goal of mine to be on Wheel of Fortune. But since that seems a bit more far-fetched than I want it to be, maybe CashCab is a more attainable goal? I'll be looking for a silly taxivan everywhere I am trying to get in.

No lie. My friend that I'm staying with scored some tickets to a taping of ugly betty. I haven't watched the show in a while... maybe I should catch up, though?

Of course, I will be going here. But I am also planning on stalking the fashion dept to see where Project Runway is filmed. Can't wait to be a stalker.

And the amazing genius of the Apple store. How glorious is this? I'm hoping it'll serve as some inspiration for my thesis project.

If you have any suggestions, send them my way!! I'm in need of some good bagel shops, NY pizza and other misc activities, please!!

*k

Deeply Madly Living

2009-03-06T22:11:00.000-06:00

Came across this site when I was searching out some finishes for my thesis project... and found some new things to love. First, you must check out their graphics... at least the homepage is sweet. The sub-pages could use a bit of tweaking, but in the meantime, focus your attention on the product.
First, how great is the color?! I love vintage pieces updated with shocking colors. I guess you might could say that I think in technicolor, so this is right along my wavelength.

How great would it be if you got this for someone in college... walking to the showers in the morning with a skull and crossbones on your back? I would have loved.

Here, a bit of irony. Super-traditional form for the cutlery. But. It's an apple-citron-limeish color- and- they're plastic. I'd reuse them for years.

Lastly, a great bathroom light. How incredible would this thing be in a loft? Above some vintage copper sink? It would make me happy to turn these lights on in the morning. I lie. Nothing would really excite me about waking up early in the morning. But at least it would brighten my mood. Get it?! Get it?!! Brighten?!!? It's a light! And it would literally.... ahhh nevermind.

*k

quilts are crazy

2009-03-05T10:38:00.000-06:00

check this out: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/04/AR2009030403994.html

"Flip past the ads for stencil companies and portable ironing tables to Page 24. Behold, seven straight pages of shocking quilts. We're talking fabric phalluses. Gun-toting Jesuses. A newborn peering out from his mother's lady parts (constructed out of lots of soft, embroidered orange cloth). Some of the images are disturbing -- and moving -- like quilter Gwen Magee's "Southern Heritage/Southern Shame," which depicts five lynching victims hanging in front of a Confederate flag."

I'm obsessed.

2009-03-04T22:04:00.000-06:00

I saw this cuff a loooong time ago on Coco+Kelley's blog and can't stop thinking about it. I'm scheduled to go up to NYC next week to meet with some people from Parsons (I say that because I'm name-dropping right now and it's not actually as fancy as I want it to be)... but while I'm there, I really really really want to go to MOOD. And now I have some fabric to find; I MUST make one of these.

It came from the runway show of Dries Van Noten, Spring 2009.

I can't think of anything more fantastic to wear to my thesis exhibition.

*k